Hi everyone. I'm sorry that I dropped off there for awhile. It's been busy, I'm trying to pull of graduate school right during these years home with my kids before I return to work...and I'm still trying to figure out all of this Mirena stuff....
(Before I get stared with the entry, I noticed that I have several emails from some women. I'm so sorry that, with my traveling, etc., that I haven't responded. I will this week. I PROMISE.)
As you know, I had another crash a month or so ago. So, I went back to see Dr. J., and I started another protocol from Standard Process. This time, I wasn't needing detox help like with the first time. My symptoms that are still an issue now are most definitely hormonal. My areas that were "off" at this second trip to Dr. J's were as follows:
--Gall Bladder
--Uterus
--Ovaries (right one, primarily)
--Thyroid
--Pituitary
--Hypothalamus
--Adrenals
--Hydrocloric acid in my stomach
Out of all of those, he said that my top three problems were #1. OVARIES, #2., THYROID, and #3., HYPOTHALAMUS.
So....I started a whole new supplemental protocol that I will detail in another blog entry. I do notice that I definitely feel better when I take them verses when I don't. I should hope so....I have to take a TON of supplements right now.
Here are some of the things that I'm trying to process/am thinking about right now. I'm sure it will come across as rambling because that is pretty much what it is going to be:
First and foremost, I'm still trying to figure out what I can do to regulate my hormones. I'm so happy that I was able to deal with the physical toxicity issue, etc., but there are still random days that I feel like I'm struggling so hard just to maintain a "normal" emotional pattern....and I can't seem to find much of a rhyme or reason to it. I definitely seem to struggle the most right after my period is wrapping up until I ovulate. Then, I tend to feel much better from ovulation until I'm done with my period again. I've been documenting each day that feels off to me, and I'll be anxious to see--after a few months--if I can notice any sort of pattern. My guess is, after doing a lot of reading on it, my body is still either not making any progesterone or is still extremely deficient. This was one paragraph that I found on low progesterone, and I will highlight the issues that I deal still deal with:
"Low progesterone levels manifest in a series of highly uncomfortable symptoms such as: insomnia, dizziness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, intense mood swings, bloating, weight gain, muscle pain, joint pain and urinary incontinence. Other signs of low progesterone include frequent urinary tract infections, interstitial cystitis, changes in appetite, hot flashes, cold chills, night sweats and vaginal dryness."
Take this week for instance. I had a couple of days where I felt a little "off", one day where I was anxious enough where I had to take a half of a Xanax to be able to get my mind to slow down enough to have any sort of concentrated train of thought...and then yesterday, I felt fantastic....full of energy and in a great mood. Now today, my joints hurt, my vision (which has been bad since the Mirena) is even more distorted than usual, and my emotions are all over the place. I don't have any patience, and I teared up watching the cartoon movie Horton Hears a Who, for goodness sakes. My mind is all foggy, and it's hard to really have a clear train of thought.
It is soooooooooooo frustrating. What is different today than yesterday? NOTHING....I did NOTHING differently. UGH UGH UGH.....
I hate living in this kind of "limbo" that the Mirena seems to throw us in. I'm actually at the point where I am very good at hiding the days that I am struggling as far as anyone noticing, but boy do I notice on the inside. It's frustrating to be at a point in life where I feel like I just have to accept that I will feel good for about two weeks out of each month, and I may struggle the rest of the time.
That being said, I'm not anywhere near where I was before I did my first detox. I don't have any of those major anxiety attacks anymore (thank you, Jesus!), although, I do still have some issues of lower levels of anxiety/uneasiness on my bad days. Sometimes, I crack a Xanax in half just so that I can pull myself out of it because I don't have time to be like that all day. I don't like being in a phase of my life where I wake up, and I'm not sure if it is going to be a weak or a strong day...and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I try to continue to rejoice in the fact that atleast I have strong/good days now. I couldn't have said that six months ago. I'm definitely heading in the right direction. It's just that I am now almost 10 months post removal. I want to know that someday it will be ALL over. No more Mirena effects/damage to deal with. I just don't know. I read posts from women who were back to their normal selves after a year....but then I read posts from women who have had it out for a couple of years, and they still have all sorts of effects still lingering. I can't even begin to explain how much I pray that, one day, I can make the post that I'm back to 100%...or atleast close enough that I don't notice anything.
The brain fog and inability to truly concentrate on my off days is maddening. It makes me so frustrated, I can't even tell you. I sit there and KNOW that I should be able to think, process, etc....and I can' t get my mind to do it. It's like my brain starts getting "bogged down" or something. Usually, at that same time, my vision is even more blurry than usual. Now, imagine days of that happening and trying to pull off graduate school. Yeah. Not so easy. :-(
Here's where I'm at right now. I'm still taking the supplements. I probably will be for awhile because I do so much better when I take them. I also just set up an appointment with my GP to talk about taking a blood test to check my progesterone levels. I'd love to hear what some of you who have gone through the homonal testing have to say. I've heard some day that the blood testing isn't that accurate, and you should do a saliva test. Hmmmmm....I honestly don't know.
I also notice that on my "bad" days, my joints/muscles hurt more than usual. Anyway, just throwing that out there.....things like noticing that when I walk up the staircase, my legs hurt for a couple of minutes afterward. Annoying.
Here's something else....and maybe it is just because I am approaching my 35th birthday, and it is just "my time", but have any of you felt like you were aging SO MUCH FASTER than before all of this? I don't mean just how you feel--I mean literally looking at yourself in the mirror and noticing how fast your face, etc. has aged over this past year? I look at pictures of myself or look at myself in the mirror, and OH MY GOODNESS...the increase in facial wrinkles alone that have increased just in the past year is nuts. Again, maybe it is just my point in time where I am going to start aging, but it seems to have really gone in fast forward over these past months. The only reason I bring that up is because I've also read a lot that estrogen dominance/hormonal imbalace, etc. has a main symptom of accelerated aging. That is me FOR SURE. Suddenly, I catch myself looking at Botox ads a bit more carefully....ha ha..... (See? Still trying to keep my sense of humor through all of this....some days are just better than others).
Okay....so that is where I am in a nutshell right now. Must better than six months ago, but still have randomly occuring days where I still feel like things "short circuit" a bit. I'm not going to lie, it makes me nervous about the day that I return to work. I have only a couple of years left before my youngest is in school, and I will return to my career....and I can honestly admit that I am nervous about it. On my good days--NO PROBLEM...but on my "bad" ones? Forget it. I can hardly form a train of thought correctly. How in the world will I be able to teach that day when I can't think? I am just so thankful that, since this had to happen to me, that it happened during this time at home. I also just pray and pray that it is all resolved and healed by the time I return to my career.
I'm following along some women who are taking bio-identical hormones, and they are swearing by the results. They are talking about how much better they feel, and so I 'm definitely following along with them to see how it works out for them. I am just not at the point yet where I feel confident enough to do it myself. Dr. J. told me that any sort of hormone replacement therapy, even if it is all natural, still makes your body dependent of them and stop even trying to make its own. That makes me nervous because that is exactly what has happened with my progesterone because of the Mirena. So, that makes me understandably uncomfortable about taking anything else that will make my body "give up" on trying to fix itself hormonally, you know? I'm not going to lie, though, if years pass and I don't get past any of these obvious hormonal symptoms, I may consider it....and that is why I'm watching to see how these ladies continue to do with it. It just also makes me nervous because I have read/heard way too many accounts where the woman is forced to take them for the rest of her life because she will crash even harder if she stops taking them. No thank you. I've had enough crashes, thankyouverymuch.
Again, I'm not saying not to do it. Heck, I'm not even saying that I may not end up having to do it. I honestly have no idea. I'm just "talking" to you as (as promised) about exactly where I am at right now and how I feel about it.
I'd also love to hear from anyone who has tried acupuncture after their Mirena experience. Did it work for you? Worth it?
I'd love to have anyone post comments about any of this. Let's get a dialogue going.
I'm still praying for all of us. Keep fighting, ladies.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
First step in fighting back....
Okay, ladies....
Here is the first step to fight back. By what I am hearing, we can't do much until the FDA atleast admits that something could be wrong with the Mirena. So, we have to get as many of our complaints directly to them as possible.
Here is the form to submit a complaint online:
https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/medwatch/
Now, you have to have all of your information....doctors appointments, dates....all of it. So, if you don't have all of that, call your doctors and get it. You will need it anyway if there is ever a lawsuit. I know that it is a lot of work, but it will be worth it. I have to contact three different doctors myself because I've had to see so many different people for help. Let's go straight to the "big guns" first. We are also working on a form of questions to fill out to give to lawyers. I'll get that on here as soon as I have it all done. Keep checking in, ladies. It's time to set things right.
Big hugs to you all. Keep fighting. You're doing great.
Here is the first step to fight back. By what I am hearing, we can't do much until the FDA atleast admits that something could be wrong with the Mirena. So, we have to get as many of our complaints directly to them as possible.
Here is the form to submit a complaint online:
https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/medwatch/
Now, you have to have all of your information....doctors appointments, dates....all of it. So, if you don't have all of that, call your doctors and get it. You will need it anyway if there is ever a lawsuit. I know that it is a lot of work, but it will be worth it. I have to contact three different doctors myself because I've had to see so many different people for help. Let's go straight to the "big guns" first. We are also working on a form of questions to fill out to give to lawyers. I'll get that on here as soon as I have it all done. Keep checking in, ladies. It's time to set things right.
Big hugs to you all. Keep fighting. You're doing great.
Crashed again. :-(
Well...I'd love to tell you that my nightmare is completely over, but I'd be lying...and I promised that I would never do that.
A couple of days ago, I hit my 8 month post removal date, and that same week, I crashed again. I didn't have an anxiety attack, but most of the other symptoms hit me full force: trouble breathing, dizziness/vertigo (to the point where I couldn't even walk across the room without holding on to something--I felt like I had been drugged), completely distorted vision, tingling and itching in my hands and feet, massive headache, and a brain fog that made me unable to hardly have a coherent thought.
Ugh.
I'm glad that I'm detoxing again (I'm on day 8 now) because I obviously still have toxins attacking me.
I hate you, Mirena. But let me tell you something, if you think I'm not going to fight back, you are crazy. I'm not stopping until I have done everything I can to get this product off of the market before my daughter's generation grow up to have this torture injected into their bodies. Stay tuned....we are getting a large group together. Post a comment or contact me via email (lifeaftermirena@yahoo.com) if you are interesting in joining in the fight.
We can stop this. Maybe not for us...but we can save others. I know that we are sick, and tired, and beat down....but we need to use everything we have to try to get this out of the reach of doctors and out of the bodies of innocent women. Think about how awful we feel right now....how long we have suffered....YEARS. WE can save other women from experiencing this hell. Join with us. They aren't interested in doing the right thing, but we can be.
Let's do this.
A couple of days ago, I hit my 8 month post removal date, and that same week, I crashed again. I didn't have an anxiety attack, but most of the other symptoms hit me full force: trouble breathing, dizziness/vertigo (to the point where I couldn't even walk across the room without holding on to something--I felt like I had been drugged), completely distorted vision, tingling and itching in my hands and feet, massive headache, and a brain fog that made me unable to hardly have a coherent thought.
Ugh.
I'm glad that I'm detoxing again (I'm on day 8 now) because I obviously still have toxins attacking me.
I hate you, Mirena. But let me tell you something, if you think I'm not going to fight back, you are crazy. I'm not stopping until I have done everything I can to get this product off of the market before my daughter's generation grow up to have this torture injected into their bodies. Stay tuned....we are getting a large group together. Post a comment or contact me via email (lifeaftermirena@yahoo.com) if you are interesting in joining in the fight.
We can stop this. Maybe not for us...but we can save others. I know that we are sick, and tired, and beat down....but we need to use everything we have to try to get this out of the reach of doctors and out of the bodies of innocent women. Think about how awful we feel right now....how long we have suffered....YEARS. WE can save other women from experiencing this hell. Join with us. They aren't interested in doing the right thing, but we can be.
Let's do this.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Here we go again...
Well...It looks like I'm doing the detox again.
I promised that I wouldn't hide or sugarcoat anything, so I'll just let you know where I'm at.
Okay...let me start by saying that I am still soooooooooo much better than I was before I detoxed the first time. To this day, I have not had a single anxiety attack, etc. If I had to continue this way for the remainder of my life, I could. However, over this past month, I've noticed that I seem to have more days around my cycle where I have to work much harder to keep my mood even, and that stupid brain fog comes back. I ignored it because I figured, "Oh well, it's not any of the bad physical symptoms that I had, so no big deal." However, I will admit, I did have a bit of that "Uh oh, what's happening?" feeling going on in the back of my head. A couple of days ago, I was getting those weird patchy goosebumps again, I started getting that "buzzing" sensation in my left arm and my face, and then--when I was typing at the computer, I felt that my hands were going weak and I was struggling to type. That was it. I wasn't going to even mess around with letting any time pass. I immediately called Dr. J. Of course, I was bawling because I was so afraid that it meant that all of the other symptoms--including those debilitating anxiety and adrenal attacks--were just around the corner. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I said, "You don't understand....I CAN'T go back there...."
Dr. J. just reminded me calmly that he had told me (and this is true; I remember it) that there was a good chance that I was going to have to detox again. My entire body was so poisoned, that the chance of all of it getting pulled out after one detox was slim. However, I felt so great after it was over...and continued to feel so great for four months...that in my head, it was over. I had completely beat it. Well, this was my gentle reminder that I'm not quite out of the woods yet. Again, remember....I AM STILL SOOOOO MUCH BETTER. THE DETOX WORKS TREMENDOUSLY. IT JUST ALL DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH POISON YOU HAVE IN YOU REGARDING IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT MORE THAN ONCE.
I'm not going to lie. It really upset me, and I needed a whole day to cry and be mad that I was even having to address this whole thing again, but after I slept on it, I awoke the next morning, dusted myself off, and owned this as part of my reality. It is what it is....I can't do anything about it. I have to detox until it's gone.
The way that Dr. J. explained it was like this: It's not like the poison starts to build back up or anything. Know that, THE POISON, AFTER A DETOX, THE POISONS CAN NOT "COME BACK" OR "BUILD BACK UP", ETC. (that was a question of mine because I was caught off-guard that a symptom that had been gone for four months came back). It is a situation of....hmmmmm, I'm realizing that this is difficult to explain without you seeing my hands...so bear with me....
Imagine a seesaw--with the poisons/toxins in your body/blood on one side and your body's immunity/strength to fight it on the other side. When you are first sick, obviously, the toxins are much higher than your immunity to fight it, and therefore, your body starts to get sick as the toxins attack your various systems. Now, when you detox, a huge amount of toxins leave your body and your immunities are at an all time high...so the seesaw has shifted: your immunity/strength is much higher than the toxins (which are now at a much lower level, but could still have some in there), and so you feel great. I felt great for four months--I mean GREAT--no symptoms except the vision loss that I never regained. Other than that, I felt perfect. Well, apparently for me, at this time, my seesaw has now shifted past the equal level and back to where the toxins are stronger than my body's strength to fight them. Like I said, the toxins are still at a much lower level--none of the poisons that were pulled out in detox number one came back. But, since I am not actively detoxing anymore, it was a matter of time (for me anyway) that my immunity level against the poison was going to slowly lower back down...and eventually get to the point where that side of my seesaw was lower than the poison/toxin side. Because of that, my body is starting to react again.
Does that make sense? I sure hope so. If not--comment about it, and I'll try to reword it better.
Like I said, at first, I was so upset that I had to accept the fact that this isn't completely over for me. I really thought that it was because I felt so great. But Dr. J. reminded me that this doesn't necessarly have to be a scary thing. My toxins are lower...even if I didn't detox again, I may never have gotten back to as bad as I was (I don't know that...but I'm not willing to find out). But, there is obviously still some in there that are making some of the more minor symptoms return, and that is enough for me to want to get them out. I can't live my life wondering if the bad symptoms are just around the corner. I won't. Also, this is a huge cancer-causing synthetic. If there is ANY still in my body--and obviously there is--I have to get it ALL out and FAST. I have to give myself every opportunity that this poison doesn't affect me long term as much as possible. So....I've just come to the conclusion that this is my ONLY option. There is nothing else to do. I KNOW that the detox works, I'm walking proof. I just have to get the rest of it out....and for me, that means that I have to do it again.
Now...I'm sure that one of the questions that you are wondering is, "How many times do we have to do this?" Honestly, there is no answer for that. For some women, one detox would be enough to take it all. For others, they may have to do it a few times. It all depends on how much poison is in her particular body, how strong her immunity is, etc. Unfortunately, there is no formula to plug in your numbers and get the number of detoxes required to pull out 100% of the poison.
So...I will be going into detox number two hoping that this is it for me--that, God willing, this is the detox that is going to take it ALL...and this nightmare can finally be completely OVER. But, I also am going into this with my eyes open...with an understanding and acceptance that detox number one gave me four months. Maybe detox number two--if it doesn't get it all--will give me eight months...or a year... But, I need to carefully evaluate how I feel as time goes on, and follow my gut. You will know. I knew. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew weeks ago that something was "off"...something didn't feel right. And now, I just accept the fact that, if time passes and that happens again, I detox again. Period. Each time, more toxins are pulled and inevitably, eventually, they will be completely gone. I'm hoping that, for me, this is the one that is going to do it.
Please pray for me--that this is the detox to pull out the last of it--as I will continue to pray for all of you. I will keep you updated on what I find out and how I am doing. See? I'm still obviously fighting this with you....and I'm not going anywhere.
I embraced life with both hands after I got better after my first detox. And, as much as I had to go through a tough day of "reacting" to knowing that I had to do this again, and that it wasn't over yet, I am even more determined to life each day to the fullest. Right now, I could be upset and dwelling on how many good days I have left before I start to feel sick again....or I can choose to live those days of feeling great to the fullest--and worrying about a bad day when (and if) they ever come. Don't let this thing beat you, ladies. I'm determined not to let this beat me down. We atleast now have a detox that we know works (remember, I have proof in my medical file that the silicone is gone, etc., and I've felt like a million bucks for months...never had a single anxiety attack..nothing...). It just takes time...but we know that detox works--atleast we all have that now. That's more than we did have.
Okay, fine....it isn't over for me quite yet. So I FIGHT....and I'm already celebrating the days ahead that I know are symptom free and full of health and energy. I know that they are coming again. THAT is what I choose to focus on.
But for now, I continue fighting. We can do this.
All of my love to you ladies. Stay strong and stay positive. Trust me when I say that I know that, some days, that is easier said that done and we break a bit. But, get back up, ball up those fists, and keep going. Each day of fighting is one day closer to beating this...and we WILL.
I promised that I wouldn't hide or sugarcoat anything, so I'll just let you know where I'm at.
Okay...let me start by saying that I am still soooooooooo much better than I was before I detoxed the first time. To this day, I have not had a single anxiety attack, etc. If I had to continue this way for the remainder of my life, I could. However, over this past month, I've noticed that I seem to have more days around my cycle where I have to work much harder to keep my mood even, and that stupid brain fog comes back. I ignored it because I figured, "Oh well, it's not any of the bad physical symptoms that I had, so no big deal." However, I will admit, I did have a bit of that "Uh oh, what's happening?" feeling going on in the back of my head. A couple of days ago, I was getting those weird patchy goosebumps again, I started getting that "buzzing" sensation in my left arm and my face, and then--when I was typing at the computer, I felt that my hands were going weak and I was struggling to type. That was it. I wasn't going to even mess around with letting any time pass. I immediately called Dr. J. Of course, I was bawling because I was so afraid that it meant that all of the other symptoms--including those debilitating anxiety and adrenal attacks--were just around the corner. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I said, "You don't understand....I CAN'T go back there...."
Dr. J. just reminded me calmly that he had told me (and this is true; I remember it) that there was a good chance that I was going to have to detox again. My entire body was so poisoned, that the chance of all of it getting pulled out after one detox was slim. However, I felt so great after it was over...and continued to feel so great for four months...that in my head, it was over. I had completely beat it. Well, this was my gentle reminder that I'm not quite out of the woods yet. Again, remember....I AM STILL SOOOOO MUCH BETTER. THE DETOX WORKS TREMENDOUSLY. IT JUST ALL DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH POISON YOU HAVE IN YOU REGARDING IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT MORE THAN ONCE.
I'm not going to lie. It really upset me, and I needed a whole day to cry and be mad that I was even having to address this whole thing again, but after I slept on it, I awoke the next morning, dusted myself off, and owned this as part of my reality. It is what it is....I can't do anything about it. I have to detox until it's gone.
The way that Dr. J. explained it was like this: It's not like the poison starts to build back up or anything. Know that, THE POISON, AFTER A DETOX, THE POISONS CAN NOT "COME BACK" OR "BUILD BACK UP", ETC. (that was a question of mine because I was caught off-guard that a symptom that had been gone for four months came back). It is a situation of....hmmmmm, I'm realizing that this is difficult to explain without you seeing my hands...so bear with me....
Imagine a seesaw--with the poisons/toxins in your body/blood on one side and your body's immunity/strength to fight it on the other side. When you are first sick, obviously, the toxins are much higher than your immunity to fight it, and therefore, your body starts to get sick as the toxins attack your various systems. Now, when you detox, a huge amount of toxins leave your body and your immunities are at an all time high...so the seesaw has shifted: your immunity/strength is much higher than the toxins (which are now at a much lower level, but could still have some in there), and so you feel great. I felt great for four months--I mean GREAT--no symptoms except the vision loss that I never regained. Other than that, I felt perfect. Well, apparently for me, at this time, my seesaw has now shifted past the equal level and back to where the toxins are stronger than my body's strength to fight them. Like I said, the toxins are still at a much lower level--none of the poisons that were pulled out in detox number one came back. But, since I am not actively detoxing anymore, it was a matter of time (for me anyway) that my immunity level against the poison was going to slowly lower back down...and eventually get to the point where that side of my seesaw was lower than the poison/toxin side. Because of that, my body is starting to react again.
Does that make sense? I sure hope so. If not--comment about it, and I'll try to reword it better.
Like I said, at first, I was so upset that I had to accept the fact that this isn't completely over for me. I really thought that it was because I felt so great. But Dr. J. reminded me that this doesn't necessarly have to be a scary thing. My toxins are lower...even if I didn't detox again, I may never have gotten back to as bad as I was (I don't know that...but I'm not willing to find out). But, there is obviously still some in there that are making some of the more minor symptoms return, and that is enough for me to want to get them out. I can't live my life wondering if the bad symptoms are just around the corner. I won't. Also, this is a huge cancer-causing synthetic. If there is ANY still in my body--and obviously there is--I have to get it ALL out and FAST. I have to give myself every opportunity that this poison doesn't affect me long term as much as possible. So....I've just come to the conclusion that this is my ONLY option. There is nothing else to do. I KNOW that the detox works, I'm walking proof. I just have to get the rest of it out....and for me, that means that I have to do it again.
Now...I'm sure that one of the questions that you are wondering is, "How many times do we have to do this?" Honestly, there is no answer for that. For some women, one detox would be enough to take it all. For others, they may have to do it a few times. It all depends on how much poison is in her particular body, how strong her immunity is, etc. Unfortunately, there is no formula to plug in your numbers and get the number of detoxes required to pull out 100% of the poison.
So...I will be going into detox number two hoping that this is it for me--that, God willing, this is the detox that is going to take it ALL...and this nightmare can finally be completely OVER. But, I also am going into this with my eyes open...with an understanding and acceptance that detox number one gave me four months. Maybe detox number two--if it doesn't get it all--will give me eight months...or a year... But, I need to carefully evaluate how I feel as time goes on, and follow my gut. You will know. I knew. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew weeks ago that something was "off"...something didn't feel right. And now, I just accept the fact that, if time passes and that happens again, I detox again. Period. Each time, more toxins are pulled and inevitably, eventually, they will be completely gone. I'm hoping that, for me, this is the one that is going to do it.
Please pray for me--that this is the detox to pull out the last of it--as I will continue to pray for all of you. I will keep you updated on what I find out and how I am doing. See? I'm still obviously fighting this with you....and I'm not going anywhere.
I embraced life with both hands after I got better after my first detox. And, as much as I had to go through a tough day of "reacting" to knowing that I had to do this again, and that it wasn't over yet, I am even more determined to life each day to the fullest. Right now, I could be upset and dwelling on how many good days I have left before I start to feel sick again....or I can choose to live those days of feeling great to the fullest--and worrying about a bad day when (and if) they ever come. Don't let this thing beat you, ladies. I'm determined not to let this beat me down. We atleast now have a detox that we know works (remember, I have proof in my medical file that the silicone is gone, etc., and I've felt like a million bucks for months...never had a single anxiety attack..nothing...). It just takes time...but we know that detox works--atleast we all have that now. That's more than we did have.
Okay, fine....it isn't over for me quite yet. So I FIGHT....and I'm already celebrating the days ahead that I know are symptom free and full of health and energy. I know that they are coming again. THAT is what I choose to focus on.
But for now, I continue fighting. We can do this.
All of my love to you ladies. Stay strong and stay positive. Trust me when I say that I know that, some days, that is easier said that done and we break a bit. But, get back up, ball up those fists, and keep going. Each day of fighting is one day closer to beating this...and we WILL.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Some updates....
I figured that it was time for some updates for everyone who reads this blog.....
Let's see.....
I am now almost 7 months post Mirena removal. The detox truly gave me my life back. I would say that 98% of the time, I feel great...like myself again. The only things that I still notice are as follows:
1. I never regained the vision that I lost in my right eye, and
2. I have a couple of "sketchy" days around my cycle (usually at ovulation time). It only lasts 24-48 hours...and it is NOTHING like how I was before the detox (no anxiety attacks or anything), but I do notice an overall feeling of uneasiness all day and I know that I have to work harder to keep my mood even (my patience level is very low, I'm very tired, etc.). It is crazy though, it lasts no more than 48 hours, and then it is like someone flips a switch and I feel great again. I have just gotten used to the fact that those days are going to come once each month. Apparently, though, Dr. J thinks that there is something that I can add to my supplements to even take that away. I just spoke with him on the phone this week, and he is sending me a couple of supplements that will help my body increase its progesterone levels, and that should help me through my ovulation time as well. I'll let you know how it works and what they are called when they get here. He just reminded me that, even though the silicone is out of my system, I obviously still have some of the synthetic hormones in there, and that is making it difficult for my own body's hormones to regulate themselves during ovulation time when they have to work harder. That is the next bit of healing that I am working on because I hate being a person, even for only 48 hours, who wants to just crawl in the corner until I feel better.
I'm actually thinking about doing the detox a second time. Even though I think that I could live the rest of my life like this and still be thankful that I'm so much better, if there is any synthetic hormone left in there (and the main one that the Mirena uses, Levonorgestrel, is--according to Dr. J-- showing to be a large cancer-causing substance), I want to do everything that I can to make sure that every last bit of it is out of my body before any long-term damage is done. I figure that you can't be too careful, right?
Dr. J said that he is actually thinking about making a video to post here that will explain what the Mirena has done to us and what the detox actually does for our bodies. I reminded him that his anonymity would officially be gone, and he said that he didn't care. He is more concerned with helping all of us get our lives back. I am so thankful that there are doctors like that in our world. He has been such a blessing to me, and I know that he is currently working with several other women now as well.
Dr. J....if you are reading this, please know that you are an angel to all of us. God is truly using you in a mighty way, and don't ever forget that. I will NEVER forget what you have done for me. THANK YOU for being a man who chooses doing the right thing over how much money you can get. You are heaven sent, and we--as well as our families--are so thankful for you. Husbands have their wives back and children have their mommies back because of you. For that, you should be proud. YOU are exactly the kind of person who SHOULD be a doctor because you truly are a man who is most concerned with helping others. In my experience throughout this, I (as well as most of the other women who read this) have learned that it is rare to find that. Most of the doctors wouldn't listen or believe us. You did...and you are fighting for us. You are changing the world one person at a time, and we are more grateful than you will ever understand. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be back on soon, ladies. I am going to copy a post on here from a woman named Erika who just finished the detox as well. I'd like for you to hear from other women as well so that you can be confident that it is also helping other women and not just me. She has given me permission to do it, so I'll be back with that soon.
Big hugs to you all. You are doing great! Keep fighting for your health, and know that I'm right here with you!
Let's see.....
I am now almost 7 months post Mirena removal. The detox truly gave me my life back. I would say that 98% of the time, I feel great...like myself again. The only things that I still notice are as follows:
1. I never regained the vision that I lost in my right eye, and
2. I have a couple of "sketchy" days around my cycle (usually at ovulation time). It only lasts 24-48 hours...and it is NOTHING like how I was before the detox (no anxiety attacks or anything), but I do notice an overall feeling of uneasiness all day and I know that I have to work harder to keep my mood even (my patience level is very low, I'm very tired, etc.). It is crazy though, it lasts no more than 48 hours, and then it is like someone flips a switch and I feel great again. I have just gotten used to the fact that those days are going to come once each month. Apparently, though, Dr. J thinks that there is something that I can add to my supplements to even take that away. I just spoke with him on the phone this week, and he is sending me a couple of supplements that will help my body increase its progesterone levels, and that should help me through my ovulation time as well. I'll let you know how it works and what they are called when they get here. He just reminded me that, even though the silicone is out of my system, I obviously still have some of the synthetic hormones in there, and that is making it difficult for my own body's hormones to regulate themselves during ovulation time when they have to work harder. That is the next bit of healing that I am working on because I hate being a person, even for only 48 hours, who wants to just crawl in the corner until I feel better.
I'm actually thinking about doing the detox a second time. Even though I think that I could live the rest of my life like this and still be thankful that I'm so much better, if there is any synthetic hormone left in there (and the main one that the Mirena uses, Levonorgestrel, is--according to Dr. J-- showing to be a large cancer-causing substance), I want to do everything that I can to make sure that every last bit of it is out of my body before any long-term damage is done. I figure that you can't be too careful, right?
Dr. J said that he is actually thinking about making a video to post here that will explain what the Mirena has done to us and what the detox actually does for our bodies. I reminded him that his anonymity would officially be gone, and he said that he didn't care. He is more concerned with helping all of us get our lives back. I am so thankful that there are doctors like that in our world. He has been such a blessing to me, and I know that he is currently working with several other women now as well.
Dr. J....if you are reading this, please know that you are an angel to all of us. God is truly using you in a mighty way, and don't ever forget that. I will NEVER forget what you have done for me. THANK YOU for being a man who chooses doing the right thing over how much money you can get. You are heaven sent, and we--as well as our families--are so thankful for you. Husbands have their wives back and children have their mommies back because of you. For that, you should be proud. YOU are exactly the kind of person who SHOULD be a doctor because you truly are a man who is most concerned with helping others. In my experience throughout this, I (as well as most of the other women who read this) have learned that it is rare to find that. Most of the doctors wouldn't listen or believe us. You did...and you are fighting for us. You are changing the world one person at a time, and we are more grateful than you will ever understand. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be back on soon, ladies. I am going to copy a post on here from a woman named Erika who just finished the detox as well. I'd like for you to hear from other women as well so that you can be confident that it is also helping other women and not just me. She has given me permission to do it, so I'll be back with that soon.
Big hugs to you all. You are doing great! Keep fighting for your health, and know that I'm right here with you!
Monday, April 4, 2011
My first race ever...and celebrating a strong body again...
I DID IT!!!!!
I just wanted to let you know that the results were posted from my very first 5k! It was for the Stephen L. Pearson Leukemia Foundation. There were 94 women who ran the 5k, and I came in 32nd. My goal was to run the 5k in 35 minutes, and I ran it in 32 min. 55 seconds! I was never concerned with my place, but my time goal was met...as well as my goal to never stop running. I'm proud of myself simply for doing something that I never thought I could do and celebrating good health again. Not bad for a 34-year-old mother of two who has never done a distance run in her life! Hee hee....
Notice the race's theme that is printed on my race bib: FIGHT FOR LIFE. I thought was was especially meaningful considering why I choose to train to run it. To all of the ladies out there who are struggling with the same post-Mirena sickness and debilitation that I had (and I know that there are many of you out there) know that, as well as celebrating my recovery, I am running for you and yours.
My next race is the HUGE one. It is the Pat Tillman race on the 16th. There will be THOUSANDS of runners. It is a longer race: a 6.8k. Wish me luck!
Thank you for supporting me through all of this. it means more than you will ever know.
I just wanted to let you know that the results were posted from my very first 5k! It was for the Stephen L. Pearson Leukemia Foundation. There were 94 women who ran the 5k, and I came in 32nd. My goal was to run the 5k in 35 minutes, and I ran it in 32 min. 55 seconds! I was never concerned with my place, but my time goal was met...as well as my goal to never stop running. I'm proud of myself simply for doing something that I never thought I could do and celebrating good health again. Not bad for a 34-year-old mother of two who has never done a distance run in her life! Hee hee....
Notice the race's theme that is printed on my race bib: FIGHT FOR LIFE. I thought was was especially meaningful considering why I choose to train to run it. To all of the ladies out there who are struggling with the same post-Mirena sickness and debilitation that I had (and I know that there are many of you out there) know that, as well as celebrating my recovery, I am running for you and yours.
My next race is the HUGE one. It is the Pat Tillman race on the 16th. There will be THOUSANDS of runners. It is a longer race: a 6.8k. Wish me luck!
Thank you for supporting me through all of this. it means more than you will ever know.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A plea to the husbands/mates/parents/etc....
Not sure what really made me sit and write this post, but I really feel like it is something that needs to be said...
This post is for the husbands/mates, the parents, etc. of the women out there who are dealing with all of this. I've heard so many heartbreaking stories from women whose marriages/relationships ended during this "post Mirena" time in their lives. This woman was "different", and it simply became more to handle than some wanted. What is so sad is that these women could get better one day, wake up, and realize that her family is gone--It's too late for her to show her loved one that the nightmare is over....and now, when she can finally have her life back (and they can have the "old her" back)...she's alone. Husbands/Mates, Family members...I just want to "talk" to you for a bit. This is vitally important for you to read. Let's chat, okay?
(Ladies, if you feel like a loved one is struggling with all of this, PLEASE sit him down in front of this screen. Maybe it will help to have him "listen" to someone's else's first-hand account of what is going on with you. I hope it helps.)
When I was in the middle of my Mirena battle, I was truly at one of the weakest points of my entire life, and it lasted a year and a half. I was so sick....and I was TERRIFIED of what was happening to me. I spent months hiding how bad it was because I was embarrassed to admit that I was unable to "get a grip" on myself. And, as I said in a previous post, to verbalize it made it true...and I didn't want to admit that it was. I wanted desperately to just "get over it" and move on. I quickly realized, however, that it simply wasn't that easy. I was horribly ill. I was at a point in my life when I needed my loved ones more than ever before. After my ordeal was over, I sat down with my husband to truly get the insight of the one who walked through this experience with me. I wanted him to be completely honest...and he was. But more importantly, he was THERE to have the conversation with me because he CHOSE to stay and fight alongside his wife. It didn't mean that he didn't have his doubts in the beginning. It didn't mean that he never got frustrated. He was as confused as I was for a long time....but he chose to trust me.
With all of that being said, let me begin by validating YOUR toughts out there as the loved ones in this situation:
Here we go:
Your wife/loved one doesn't seem anywhere close to the woman that you married/once knew. You feel like she's gone. She doesn't smile like she used to. She doesn't embrace life like she used to. She doesn't react to you like she used to. You're right--she doesn't. But, let me make something perfectly clear: SHE IS IN THERE. She isn't lost...she hasn't "changed".... She is TRAPPED in there--in a body and in a mind that SHE CAN'T MAKE WORK.
If that didn't soak in...please read the above paragraph again...and again....and again....
That is what is so scary about all of this. I remember thinking that it would almost be easier if I would have lost my mind enough that I didn't know what was happening--become dilusional. That's not what happens, though--at least not with me...and not with all of other women that I've talked to about this. SHE KNOWS THAT SOMETHING IS HORRIBLY WRONG. Believe me, I knew that I was in big trouble LONG before I had the test results in my hand that showed I had been poisoned. She knows that she looks all kinds of messed up. She KNOWS that she didn't get anything done that day, or that she reacted badly to you, or she seems incapable of functioning properly. Trust me...SHE KNOWS...and she is in there praying that she was different. She knows that she isn't okay, but she can't help what is happening. She may yell or cry at something that would normally not even affect her. And you know what? She is in there thinking, "What in the world was that? What is wrong with me?" I can't even begin to explain how many times I verbally snapped at my daughter for something silly or felt intense anger toward my husband when he didn't even do anything other than walk in the room...and so in order to make sure that I never said or did anything that I would regret, I would just go to another room until that feeling went away. I can't tell you the number of hours I spent in my son's nursery, crying and rocking back and forth in the glider until some awful feeling or symptom passed and I could rejoin the world. I couldn't simply stop feeling that way at that moment...no matter how hard I tried. I knew that it was "wrong", I knew that it wasn't me, but I was completely unable make it go away. That, my friends, is TERRIFYING when you don't know if it is ever going to stop. I describe it best when I say that is honestly like feeling like being buried alive. The "real" you is in there, screaming to get out of this shell that doesn't work right, can't think clearly....you are still fully "awake" down in there...watching yourself crumble, overreact, fall apart, on the outside. You are doing everything in your power to break though and change what she is doing, but you can't. I know that sounds impossible. It's not. It's TORTURE.
Imagine living in a mind and body that you aren't in control of anymore...but yet you are still deep down in there watching it happen and begging to GET OUT. That is where she is right now. She's fine one moment...and then she's not. But, it has nothing to do with the fact that she is "gone" or "changed". She's there, trapped...and fighting to regain herself again. That is her LIFE right now....a constant battle of ups and downs, juggling symptoms and her own fear. I felt like my daily success was determined on how well I was able to "fake" being okay. Some days, I did great. Some days, I would crumble multiple times. But, I can tell you that I was just as much "IN THERE" on the crumbling days as on the other ones. Those were just the days that the sickness and symptoms were too strong for me--no matter how hard I fought against them--and I was fighting constantly with everything in me.
Think about how proud you are. We are proud, too. It's embarrassing and VERY difficult to admit that you aren't strong enough to beat something. We are wives, mothers, career women...we are used to multi-tasking everything, and suddenly it is too much to unload the dishwasher or make a grocery list. This woman in your life is scared to death....because she doesn't know why it is happening or when it is going to happen again. I felt like I was living in limbo between being in the middle of some sort of anxiety or adenaline attack or being so scared as I waited and wondered when the next one was going to hit. I'm telling you....that's not living. I was juggling anxiety attacks, my brain being so foggy that I couldn't form a thought, my mind was darting all over the place 24/7, my heartbeat would become irregular, I would lose the ability to feel or use my hands, my vision deteriorated, I would go multiple days with no sleep, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and EVERYTHING was too overwhelming to handle...and that is just some of the symptoms I had. My point is, during all of this, I was completely "me" the whole time....I WANTED to do all of these things...be all these things. I was just trapped way down in there and physically and/or mentally COULDN'T do it. At those bad times, no amount of wanting to be okay made me strong enough to be so.
As far as the "Is it really that bad" question. This the the easiest question that I've ever answered. YES. It's worse. I remember wishing at times that I had the ability to just grab my husband's hand and, for those brief moments, make him be able to feel EXACTLY what I was. It had nothing to do with me wanting him to suffer...it was a need to know that he understood how horrible it felt at that moment. I knew that I couldn't explain it anywhere close to how it really was, and I knew that if I could JUST somehow transfer it over to him through my hand, he would NEVER have to doubt or wonder again. That may sound strange, but I thought that a lot: "If I could just get him to REALLY know what it is like in here....just for a moment suffer this hell....he would never give up until I was okay again."
The reason that I'm writing this has nothing to do with trying to emphasize the "doom and gloom" aspect of all of this. What I'm trying to do is make it clear that, right now, this woman NEEDS YOU more than ever before. She needs your strength and your comfort because, at this moment, she has none of her own. This is truly a time that she is depending on the "In sickness and in health" vow, husbands. Don't give up on her. Don't leave her. Fight for her because she is fighting, too....with everything she's got.
BE THERE. BELIEVE IN HER. TRUST HER. SHE NEEDS YOU.
I remember many nights when I would be lying there at 3:00 in the morning because I couldn't sleep, and I would just sit up and stare at my husband while he slept. I would cry and I would plead over and over in my head, "Please don't leave me. I promise that I'm in here, and I'm trying to get back to all of you. Please don't give up on me."
I'm actually crying as I write this because I remember those nights all too well, and just writing about it brings those feelings of desperation back.
I was one of the lucky ones. My parents believed me--it was through their help that I was able to do the detox in the first place. I had a husband who, even though he admittedly doubted in the beginning, chose to believe me and fight for his wife. He literally dropped to the kitchen floor with me once and didn't get up until I did. He would sometimes just hug me and let me cry. He openly admits that, in the beginning--before we knew about the silicone poisoning, the damage to my hormone levels, or the Mirena in general being the problem, he was frustrated and doubtful when he would hear about some new "issue" every week and see that nothing was getting done. You know what, though? I don't blame him. It's hard to believe the unbelievable. This is not a normal situation....but I promise you, gentlemen, it is VERY real. NO WOMAN would fake that kind of torture for that long.
It's okay to be frustrated. This affects you, too--it's your family and the woman you love. However, you can still chose to be the man that she desperately needs you to be right now. Be a rock for her--some strength for her to hold on to. BE UNDERSTANDING and BE LOVING. Don't be mad at her. Be mad at what this thing did to her. SHE didn't do this to you. Always remember where the blame belongs. Like I said, she needs you right now more than she has ever needed you before, and trust me when I say that she feels guilty enough for how this has taken her away from her loved ones and her "duties." I knew that it wasn't my fault, and yet I still felt enormous guilt every day for what I was unable to do, unable to be, for my family. PLEASE BE THERE. I truly believe that is one of the reasons that I was able to keep fighting as hard as I did. Once I finally opened up to my loved ones about what I was going through, I was no longer alone in my fight. That means more to me than anyone can ever imagine. I held on to that EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Now, I don't want to end this post with such a negative feeling. Let me take this time to remind you that I am writing this as a woman who beat this thing...who came back...who is the woman that I used to be. My husband will attest to it. He was just smiling ear-to-ear the other day when, during the kids' naps, I was outside doing yard work with him. I was pulling weeds while we were listening to music, and I was singing and dancing around to the tunes like the big dork that he fell in love with six years ago. He just smiles and says, "It's so great to have you back." I agree. It's good to be back. I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm blessed. My husband and I fought this together, and we are truly stronger now than we have EVER been. Honestly.
This can be your story, too. There IS an end to this...and it can be a happy ending, I'm proof of that. Just don't give up on her. That is your sweetheart in there....and she needs you.
My prayers are with your marriage and family during this time. Be strong--you can make it.
This post is for the husbands/mates, the parents, etc. of the women out there who are dealing with all of this. I've heard so many heartbreaking stories from women whose marriages/relationships ended during this "post Mirena" time in their lives. This woman was "different", and it simply became more to handle than some wanted. What is so sad is that these women could get better one day, wake up, and realize that her family is gone--It's too late for her to show her loved one that the nightmare is over....and now, when she can finally have her life back (and they can have the "old her" back)...she's alone. Husbands/Mates, Family members...I just want to "talk" to you for a bit. This is vitally important for you to read. Let's chat, okay?
(Ladies, if you feel like a loved one is struggling with all of this, PLEASE sit him down in front of this screen. Maybe it will help to have him "listen" to someone's else's first-hand account of what is going on with you. I hope it helps.)
When I was in the middle of my Mirena battle, I was truly at one of the weakest points of my entire life, and it lasted a year and a half. I was so sick....and I was TERRIFIED of what was happening to me. I spent months hiding how bad it was because I was embarrassed to admit that I was unable to "get a grip" on myself. And, as I said in a previous post, to verbalize it made it true...and I didn't want to admit that it was. I wanted desperately to just "get over it" and move on. I quickly realized, however, that it simply wasn't that easy. I was horribly ill. I was at a point in my life when I needed my loved ones more than ever before. After my ordeal was over, I sat down with my husband to truly get the insight of the one who walked through this experience with me. I wanted him to be completely honest...and he was. But more importantly, he was THERE to have the conversation with me because he CHOSE to stay and fight alongside his wife. It didn't mean that he didn't have his doubts in the beginning. It didn't mean that he never got frustrated. He was as confused as I was for a long time....but he chose to trust me.
With all of that being said, let me begin by validating YOUR toughts out there as the loved ones in this situation:
- I know how confusing this is for you. You are looking at this woman, and she doesn't seem anywhere close to the woman that you once knew.
- It seems like there is a new problem every week. You are catching yourself actually doubting whether or not she is telling the truth....or if it is really as bad as she is saying that it is. You wonder, "Is she overexaggerating, being overly dramatic?"
- She seems lazy.....unorganized.....unmotivated.....
- You may wonder if this is worth it. "I didn't sign up for this."..... "Will she ever come back to me?"
Here we go:
Your wife/loved one doesn't seem anywhere close to the woman that you married/once knew. You feel like she's gone. She doesn't smile like she used to. She doesn't embrace life like she used to. She doesn't react to you like she used to. You're right--she doesn't. But, let me make something perfectly clear: SHE IS IN THERE. She isn't lost...she hasn't "changed".... She is TRAPPED in there--in a body and in a mind that SHE CAN'T MAKE WORK.
If that didn't soak in...please read the above paragraph again...and again....and again....
That is what is so scary about all of this. I remember thinking that it would almost be easier if I would have lost my mind enough that I didn't know what was happening--become dilusional. That's not what happens, though--at least not with me...and not with all of other women that I've talked to about this. SHE KNOWS THAT SOMETHING IS HORRIBLY WRONG. Believe me, I knew that I was in big trouble LONG before I had the test results in my hand that showed I had been poisoned. She knows that she looks all kinds of messed up. She KNOWS that she didn't get anything done that day, or that she reacted badly to you, or she seems incapable of functioning properly. Trust me...SHE KNOWS...and she is in there praying that she was different. She knows that she isn't okay, but she can't help what is happening. She may yell or cry at something that would normally not even affect her. And you know what? She is in there thinking, "What in the world was that? What is wrong with me?" I can't even begin to explain how many times I verbally snapped at my daughter for something silly or felt intense anger toward my husband when he didn't even do anything other than walk in the room...and so in order to make sure that I never said or did anything that I would regret, I would just go to another room until that feeling went away. I can't tell you the number of hours I spent in my son's nursery, crying and rocking back and forth in the glider until some awful feeling or symptom passed and I could rejoin the world. I couldn't simply stop feeling that way at that moment...no matter how hard I tried. I knew that it was "wrong", I knew that it wasn't me, but I was completely unable make it go away. That, my friends, is TERRIFYING when you don't know if it is ever going to stop. I describe it best when I say that is honestly like feeling like being buried alive. The "real" you is in there, screaming to get out of this shell that doesn't work right, can't think clearly....you are still fully "awake" down in there...watching yourself crumble, overreact, fall apart, on the outside. You are doing everything in your power to break though and change what she is doing, but you can't. I know that sounds impossible. It's not. It's TORTURE.
Imagine living in a mind and body that you aren't in control of anymore...but yet you are still deep down in there watching it happen and begging to GET OUT. That is where she is right now. She's fine one moment...and then she's not. But, it has nothing to do with the fact that she is "gone" or "changed". She's there, trapped...and fighting to regain herself again. That is her LIFE right now....a constant battle of ups and downs, juggling symptoms and her own fear. I felt like my daily success was determined on how well I was able to "fake" being okay. Some days, I did great. Some days, I would crumble multiple times. But, I can tell you that I was just as much "IN THERE" on the crumbling days as on the other ones. Those were just the days that the sickness and symptoms were too strong for me--no matter how hard I fought against them--and I was fighting constantly with everything in me.
Think about how proud you are. We are proud, too. It's embarrassing and VERY difficult to admit that you aren't strong enough to beat something. We are wives, mothers, career women...we are used to multi-tasking everything, and suddenly it is too much to unload the dishwasher or make a grocery list. This woman in your life is scared to death....because she doesn't know why it is happening or when it is going to happen again. I felt like I was living in limbo between being in the middle of some sort of anxiety or adenaline attack or being so scared as I waited and wondered when the next one was going to hit. I'm telling you....that's not living. I was juggling anxiety attacks, my brain being so foggy that I couldn't form a thought, my mind was darting all over the place 24/7, my heartbeat would become irregular, I would lose the ability to feel or use my hands, my vision deteriorated, I would go multiple days with no sleep, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and EVERYTHING was too overwhelming to handle...and that is just some of the symptoms I had. My point is, during all of this, I was completely "me" the whole time....I WANTED to do all of these things...be all these things. I was just trapped way down in there and physically and/or mentally COULDN'T do it. At those bad times, no amount of wanting to be okay made me strong enough to be so.
As far as the "Is it really that bad" question. This the the easiest question that I've ever answered. YES. It's worse. I remember wishing at times that I had the ability to just grab my husband's hand and, for those brief moments, make him be able to feel EXACTLY what I was. It had nothing to do with me wanting him to suffer...it was a need to know that he understood how horrible it felt at that moment. I knew that I couldn't explain it anywhere close to how it really was, and I knew that if I could JUST somehow transfer it over to him through my hand, he would NEVER have to doubt or wonder again. That may sound strange, but I thought that a lot: "If I could just get him to REALLY know what it is like in here....just for a moment suffer this hell....he would never give up until I was okay again."
The reason that I'm writing this has nothing to do with trying to emphasize the "doom and gloom" aspect of all of this. What I'm trying to do is make it clear that, right now, this woman NEEDS YOU more than ever before. She needs your strength and your comfort because, at this moment, she has none of her own. This is truly a time that she is depending on the "In sickness and in health" vow, husbands. Don't give up on her. Don't leave her. Fight for her because she is fighting, too....with everything she's got.
BE THERE. BELIEVE IN HER. TRUST HER. SHE NEEDS YOU.
I remember many nights when I would be lying there at 3:00 in the morning because I couldn't sleep, and I would just sit up and stare at my husband while he slept. I would cry and I would plead over and over in my head, "Please don't leave me. I promise that I'm in here, and I'm trying to get back to all of you. Please don't give up on me."
I'm actually crying as I write this because I remember those nights all too well, and just writing about it brings those feelings of desperation back.
I was one of the lucky ones. My parents believed me--it was through their help that I was able to do the detox in the first place. I had a husband who, even though he admittedly doubted in the beginning, chose to believe me and fight for his wife. He literally dropped to the kitchen floor with me once and didn't get up until I did. He would sometimes just hug me and let me cry. He openly admits that, in the beginning--before we knew about the silicone poisoning, the damage to my hormone levels, or the Mirena in general being the problem, he was frustrated and doubtful when he would hear about some new "issue" every week and see that nothing was getting done. You know what, though? I don't blame him. It's hard to believe the unbelievable. This is not a normal situation....but I promise you, gentlemen, it is VERY real. NO WOMAN would fake that kind of torture for that long.
It's okay to be frustrated. This affects you, too--it's your family and the woman you love. However, you can still chose to be the man that she desperately needs you to be right now. Be a rock for her--some strength for her to hold on to. BE UNDERSTANDING and BE LOVING. Don't be mad at her. Be mad at what this thing did to her. SHE didn't do this to you. Always remember where the blame belongs. Like I said, she needs you right now more than she has ever needed you before, and trust me when I say that she feels guilty enough for how this has taken her away from her loved ones and her "duties." I knew that it wasn't my fault, and yet I still felt enormous guilt every day for what I was unable to do, unable to be, for my family. PLEASE BE THERE. I truly believe that is one of the reasons that I was able to keep fighting as hard as I did. Once I finally opened up to my loved ones about what I was going through, I was no longer alone in my fight. That means more to me than anyone can ever imagine. I held on to that EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Now, I don't want to end this post with such a negative feeling. Let me take this time to remind you that I am writing this as a woman who beat this thing...who came back...who is the woman that I used to be. My husband will attest to it. He was just smiling ear-to-ear the other day when, during the kids' naps, I was outside doing yard work with him. I was pulling weeds while we were listening to music, and I was singing and dancing around to the tunes like the big dork that he fell in love with six years ago. He just smiles and says, "It's so great to have you back." I agree. It's good to be back. I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm blessed. My husband and I fought this together, and we are truly stronger now than we have EVER been. Honestly.
This can be your story, too. There IS an end to this...and it can be a happy ending, I'm proof of that. Just don't give up on her. That is your sweetheart in there....and she needs you.
My prayers are with your marriage and family during this time. Be strong--you can make it.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Just some venting....
I honestly try to remain as positive as possible about this whole thing, and most of the time, I think I do a pretty good job at it. Sometimes, though, I have to vent a bit.... Here are some of my thoughts right now on a day when I think back to my experience, and my heart hurts for all of us.
* I'm glad to see that there are some class action lawsuits out there that some lawyers are trying to do for women who are suffering from the Mirena. That's fantastic. I have noticed, though, that all of them are geared towards the women who have had the IUD perforate the uterus, get PID, etc. Again, I am so happy for those of you who will find legal help if that happened to you. I'm blessed to say that my Mirena didn't perforate my uterus, so I can only imagine what that is like. Go get 'em, ladies!
* That being said, I'm anxious to see when the makers of the Mirena and/or some lawfirms are going to also deal with the HUGE amount of the rest of us who, even if we didn't have the physical perforation, had actual autoimmune/neurological/autonic/endocrine disease symptoms and worse due to the Mirena. Look around, you guys....look at how many of us actually got to the point of testing for Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus, etc., because our right side went numb, or our hands stopped working, or our legs are too weak to walk..... I sure didn't see anything about all of that in your little brochure. What about the ladies who thought they were losing their minds? The ladies who had to have spinal taps to test for MS? Do you have any idea what it is like to be a woman in her twenties or thirties, be typing at your keyboard or holding a glass, and suddenly be completely unable to use your hands? I sure do. It's absolutely terrifying. It's also just about the worst feeling in the world to be pacing downstairs in sobs while trying to figure out how you are going to start a conversation with your husband that explains how he might need to figure out what to do with the children for a while because you think you might need to admit yourself to a hospital....because you no longer have the strength to continue to fall apart. I know that feeling, too. I know what it feels like to be a multi-tasking, extroverted, and life-embracing mother working on a master's degree--a woman who not only enjoyed doing everything, but even excelled in that "pressure cooker" environment....who suddenly becomes an empty shell of a woman whose body was broken, whose mind and emotions were completely overwhelmed, and whose ability to simply leave the house was GONE--with no explanation nor strength to beat it. These are not unintelligent or unstable women that you are dealing with here, Bayer. We are strong and smart and hardworking....it's your little device that made us all so sick. I know what it feels like to feel like you are trapped in your own body and mind and not be able to make it WORK. I know what it feels like to be stuck in a nightmare even when you are wide awake. Where is all of that in your pamphlet or on your commercials?
* If I could speak to the makers of the Mirena, I would say this.....
Look, I understand that I don't mean anything to you. I'm just some random woman out there who has suffered immensely at the hand of your product--a product that I used because it was lauded as a safer form of birth control for a nursing mother. But you know what? If the same thing that happened to me happened to YOUR sister, YOUR mother, or YOUR daughter....I have a feeling that you would fight with everything you had to make her better--because it would KILL you to see someone you love suffer so badly and so constantly. I may not mean anything to you, but I do mean something to someone. I AM someone's mother, someone's sister AND someone's daughter. I MEAN SOMETHING. I deserve a happy and healthy life just as much as the women in your life whom you love. I only have one life down here, too. I think that should matter to you if you are going to be in an industry that makes things like this. Put your mother's face on that woman who is fighting desperately to get her life back. If it was HER tear-soaked eyes that stared back at you, would YOU fight harder to make sure that change is made to help her? Shame on you if you ignore us because dollars are more important. I'm right here....and I had to fight with everything I had just so that I could be the wife, the daughter, the sister, and the MOTHER whom those I love deserve to have...and a woman that I DESERVE to be in the only life that I get. There are so many of us out there, and that is the point of this blog. If you won't try to help them....then I will...at least as much as I can. Somebody has to try to help. I pray that your heart changes. You still have time to make this better, and it is time to be someone of whom you can be proud.
* I'm glad to see that there are some class action lawsuits out there that some lawyers are trying to do for women who are suffering from the Mirena. That's fantastic. I have noticed, though, that all of them are geared towards the women who have had the IUD perforate the uterus, get PID, etc. Again, I am so happy for those of you who will find legal help if that happened to you. I'm blessed to say that my Mirena didn't perforate my uterus, so I can only imagine what that is like. Go get 'em, ladies!
* That being said, I'm anxious to see when the makers of the Mirena and/or some lawfirms are going to also deal with the HUGE amount of the rest of us who, even if we didn't have the physical perforation, had actual autoimmune/neurological/autonic/endocrine disease symptoms and worse due to the Mirena. Look around, you guys....look at how many of us actually got to the point of testing for Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus, etc., because our right side went numb, or our hands stopped working, or our legs are too weak to walk..... I sure didn't see anything about all of that in your little brochure. What about the ladies who thought they were losing their minds? The ladies who had to have spinal taps to test for MS? Do you have any idea what it is like to be a woman in her twenties or thirties, be typing at your keyboard or holding a glass, and suddenly be completely unable to use your hands? I sure do. It's absolutely terrifying. It's also just about the worst feeling in the world to be pacing downstairs in sobs while trying to figure out how you are going to start a conversation with your husband that explains how he might need to figure out what to do with the children for a while because you think you might need to admit yourself to a hospital....because you no longer have the strength to continue to fall apart. I know that feeling, too. I know what it feels like to be a multi-tasking, extroverted, and life-embracing mother working on a master's degree--a woman who not only enjoyed doing everything, but even excelled in that "pressure cooker" environment....who suddenly becomes an empty shell of a woman whose body was broken, whose mind and emotions were completely overwhelmed, and whose ability to simply leave the house was GONE--with no explanation nor strength to beat it. These are not unintelligent or unstable women that you are dealing with here, Bayer. We are strong and smart and hardworking....it's your little device that made us all so sick. I know what it feels like to feel like you are trapped in your own body and mind and not be able to make it WORK. I know what it feels like to be stuck in a nightmare even when you are wide awake. Where is all of that in your pamphlet or on your commercials?
* If I could speak to the makers of the Mirena, I would say this.....
Look, I understand that I don't mean anything to you. I'm just some random woman out there who has suffered immensely at the hand of your product--a product that I used because it was lauded as a safer form of birth control for a nursing mother. But you know what? If the same thing that happened to me happened to YOUR sister, YOUR mother, or YOUR daughter....I have a feeling that you would fight with everything you had to make her better--because it would KILL you to see someone you love suffer so badly and so constantly. I may not mean anything to you, but I do mean something to someone. I AM someone's mother, someone's sister AND someone's daughter. I MEAN SOMETHING. I deserve a happy and healthy life just as much as the women in your life whom you love. I only have one life down here, too. I think that should matter to you if you are going to be in an industry that makes things like this. Put your mother's face on that woman who is fighting desperately to get her life back. If it was HER tear-soaked eyes that stared back at you, would YOU fight harder to make sure that change is made to help her? Shame on you if you ignore us because dollars are more important. I'm right here....and I had to fight with everything I had just so that I could be the wife, the daughter, the sister, and the MOTHER whom those I love deserve to have...and a woman that I DESERVE to be in the only life that I get. There are so many of us out there, and that is the point of this blog. If you won't try to help them....then I will...at least as much as I can. Somebody has to try to help. I pray that your heart changes. You still have time to make this better, and it is time to be someone of whom you can be proud.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
My doctor is willing to help you...
I've spoken with "Dr. J" (my doc who did my detox), and he gave me the okay to give his information out to women if they are unable to obtain the detox supplements any other way.
He knows that many ladies are finding the supplements on various websites, and said that he is squeamish about ordering the supplements from places like Amazon.com, etc. because of not only the expiration date, but because there is no way that Standard Process themselves can be legally putting them on Amazon (since they have to be ordered by a physician). So....who is putting them on there? Are they really Standard Process supplements?
Basically, he just wants to make sure that none of you get taken for a ride and not get the "real" supplements, etc.
Anyway, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do at all. I just wanted to let you know that if you want to do the detox, and you can't find a physician to order them for you, please privately email me (lifeaftermirena@yahoo.com), and I will give you my doc's contact information. He'd be happy to help you if he can. He can just talk to you over the phone.
I asked him this evening to try to give me an exact price for the whole three weeks. I'll let you know when I hear back.
Keep recovering, ladies!
He knows that many ladies are finding the supplements on various websites, and said that he is squeamish about ordering the supplements from places like Amazon.com, etc. because of not only the expiration date, but because there is no way that Standard Process themselves can be legally putting them on Amazon (since they have to be ordered by a physician). So....who is putting them on there? Are they really Standard Process supplements?
Basically, he just wants to make sure that none of you get taken for a ride and not get the "real" supplements, etc.
Anyway, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do at all. I just wanted to let you know that if you want to do the detox, and you can't find a physician to order them for you, please privately email me (lifeaftermirena@yahoo.com), and I will give you my doc's contact information. He'd be happy to help you if he can. He can just talk to you over the phone.
I asked him this evening to try to give me an exact price for the whole three weeks. I'll let you know when I hear back.
Keep recovering, ladies!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Silicone blood test diagnosis code
For those of you who are still having a difficult time finding a doctor who will run the silicone test (or those who says the test doesn't exist!), I called my doctor to ask what the code was for the test that I ran. For my silicone test, the diagnosis code was 728.87 under "Muscle Weakness".
Hope that helps!
Hope that helps!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Stay tuned, ladies....more help is coming!
I just wanted to let you all know that I have been corresponding with a health care lawyer who has been personally involved with what Mirena is doing to women. He has asked to remain anonymous, so I can't give any more information than that. What I can say is that he is fired up to help women who have been affected by Mirena with some legal advice....and I trust him COMPLETELY.
He has agreed to correspond with me soon about some legal advice/tips/etc. that we all should consider that may help. He wants to help us fight back.
As soon as I get some information from him, I will post it immediately. Keep checking in, okay?
Big hugs, and keep fighting for your health. You're doing GREAT!
He has agreed to correspond with me soon about some legal advice/tips/etc. that we all should consider that may help. He wants to help us fight back.
As soon as I get some information from him, I will post it immediately. Keep checking in, okay?
Big hugs, and keep fighting for your health. You're doing GREAT!
THE SILICONE IS GONE!!!
I am in tears as I write this!
I just got a phone call from my doctor's office with the results of my 2nd silicone blood test. As you know, I had elevated silicone levels that showed in my first blood test, and that is why I did the detox that I posted earlier.
Here are the EXACT words on my machine:
"I'm calling with the results of your silicone test. The test shows that it was not detected in your blood. There was ZERO detected in there."
It worked, everyone.
And this was after I was told that you can't remove silicone from the blood because it is a permanent synthetic.
It WORKED!
I can't believe it! That is more than I ever hoped for. I was hoping that it would at least be in the "normal" range. IT IS GONE COMPLETELY.
IT WORKED!
I just got a phone call from my doctor's office with the results of my 2nd silicone blood test. As you know, I had elevated silicone levels that showed in my first blood test, and that is why I did the detox that I posted earlier.
Here are the EXACT words on my machine:
"I'm calling with the results of your silicone test. The test shows that it was not detected in your blood. There was ZERO detected in there."
It worked, everyone.
And this was after I was told that you can't remove silicone from the blood because it is a permanent synthetic.
It WORKED!
I can't believe it! That is more than I ever hoped for. I was hoping that it would at least be in the "normal" range. IT IS GONE COMPLETELY.
IT WORKED!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
One comment makes all the difference.....
I'm amazed at how much one comment can make you smile for an hour straight.
Last night, my husband was sitting on the couch and simply said to my parents (they were here visiting from out-of-state) the following comment:
"I can attest....it's like I have my wife back."
Thank you, Lord. I am so grateful.
Last night, my husband was sitting on the couch and simply said to my parents (they were here visiting from out-of-state) the following comment:
"I can attest....it's like I have my wife back."
Thank you, Lord. I am so grateful.
My supplements, etc.
When I said that you would have multiple jars of supplements to take, I wasn't kidding! Here are mine!
I also take all-natural herbal energy pills called "Power Ups". These are NOT part of the detox or maintenance program from my doctor. I take these on my own to help with my energy. They were pills that I took before, and I have great success with them as far as help with daily energy. If you need help in that area, what they look like is shown below. I take four a day as intructed on the bottle: two before breakfast, and two before lunch. Again, these don't have anything to do with the detox, so it isn't a big deal if you take those or not. This is just something that I have personally added because lack of daily energy was a big problem for me, and I'm trying to cover everything for all of you. Since I have used them for so long and I order each month, I got a "distributor ID" so that I could buy them at a wholesale price. Again, you don't need these for the detox, but if you want them for the energy--don't order them online--you'll have to pay full price. Just let me know, and I'll get them to for the price I would have to pay. I order them anyway. Making money off of a bottle of pills is not important to me where this is concerned. I believe they are $56/bottle online. I can get them for $45 (including shipping) if you want them. I'M NOT TRYING TO SELL ANYTHING HERE TO YOU...PROMISE. You do NOT need these to detox! You will heal just as much without these! I just take them on my own for energy...that's it. You will get just as well without them. This is just me telling you what I'm taking...and being thorough about it like I said I would. I would just give you out my distributor ID for the website, but my credit card information is saved in there.
And before you even ask......YES YES YES....It is soooooooo worth it. I have my LIFE BACK!
These can be ordered, as I said before, from http://www.standardprocess.com/
These can only be ordered by a physician, so talk to your doctor/Naturopath.
In case you would like a closer look at the lemon oil, here it is:
You can order that at https://www.youngliving.org/rs_ord_item_detail_popup.asp?ITEM_CODE=3578&IS_GUEST_SHOPPING_MODE=1&CC=US
You do not need a physician to order than for you if you chose to do this.
If you are interested in those for energy and don't want to contact me (you don't have to at all!), you can order them retail at http://www.drinkact.com/
And here is one day's worth of supplements for me. As you can see, I take them in three doses throughout the day...and yes, I use one of my children's dinner plates to separate the doses...hee hee. Whatever works, right?
And before you even ask......YES YES YES....It is soooooooo worth it. I have my LIFE BACK!
Some interesting articles....Connection to MS-type symptoms?
This post was found on curezone by a fellow post-Mirena sufferer. VERY interesting to think about....
Obviously, our hormones are completely messed up. . .these studies seem to say we need progesterone to keep our nerve myelin healthy. The myelin is what surrounds the brain and keeps it healthy. As most of you also know, many of us went through testing for Multiple Sclerosis only to receive negative results...even though our symptoms sometimes mirror MS. Most of the women after the Mirena find that their progesterone level is INCREDIBLY low, and I think Mirena made us stop making our own natural progesterone. So when Mirena was removed, we didn't have any at all--natural or fake. So would this cause nerves to be unprotected...therefore causing the numbness etc....therefore causing the MS-type symptoms? Interesting to think about.
This one is quite technical, but it links progesterone to myelin-- http://www.sciencemag.org/content/268/5216/1500.abstract
This says it's not all in our heads...!http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/progesteronebrainresearch.html
See the green boxes
http://www.projectaware.org/Managing/Hrt/progesterone_FAQ.shtml
We know the side, but the part about them looking into progesterone as a treatment for MS is interesting.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progesterone
What are all of your thoughts?
Obviously, our hormones are completely messed up. . .these studies seem to say we need progesterone to keep our nerve myelin healthy. The myelin is what surrounds the brain and keeps it healthy. As most of you also know, many of us went through testing for Multiple Sclerosis only to receive negative results...even though our symptoms sometimes mirror MS. Most of the women after the Mirena find that their progesterone level is INCREDIBLY low, and I think Mirena made us stop making our own natural progesterone. So when Mirena was removed, we didn't have any at all--natural or fake. So would this cause nerves to be unprotected...therefore causing the numbness etc....therefore causing the MS-type symptoms? Interesting to think about.
This one is quite technical, but it links progesterone to myelin-- http://www.sciencemag.org/content/268/5216/1500.abstract
This says it's not all in our heads...!http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/progesteronebrainresearch.html
See the green boxes
http://www.projectaware.org/Managing/Hrt/progesterone_FAQ.shtml
We know the side, but the part about them looking into progesterone as a treatment for MS is interesting.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progesterone
What are all of your thoughts?
The post-detox "Maintenance Program"
Okay....here is the "Maintenance Program" of supplements that I take daily now. I started this immediately after my three-week detox was completed, and I'm probably going to stay on it for awhile.
I'm still feeling great!
Here it is:
THE MAINTENCE PROGRAM:
(For hormones...I took these three supplements during the detox but at a much higher dosage)
SYMPLEX F (2 per day)
UTROPHIN PMG (2 per day)
OVEX P (2 per day)
I now also take CHASTE TREE (2 per day) to help with my hormone/progesterone levels
(I am also taking the following two supplements from my detox--but at a smaller dosage)
GASTRO-FIBER (3 per day)
CHOLACOL II (3 per day)
The SP COMPLETE shake (only one per day now)
(The new supplements that I am taking for maintance/overall support are as follows):
CRUCIFEROUS COMPLETE (This replaces the SP Cleanse from the detox--2 pills/3 x's/day = 6/day)
BETAFOOD (3 per day)
SPANISH BLACK RADISH (3 per day)
ADRENAL DESICCATED (3 per day...but you can only use this for three months and then must stop. That is because it is to "kick start" your adrenal health again--for energy--and if you use it more than three months, you risk your body "giving up" trying to do it on its own). I wrote the end date on the lid so that I'll remember.
DRENAMIN--This also supports adrenal health, but there is no required stop date for this (6 per day)
I also have a small bottle of lemon oil from a company called Young Living. According to my herbalist, lemon oil is known to excrete petroleum based toxins from the blood. I put two drops in a large glass of water and drink one or two a day.
There you go! That is what I am taking now. Much less than I was during the detox--which is nice...the pills last much longer. :-)
To help, since are are multiple bottles, I write the dosage on the top of each lid. Then, as I have to replace the bottle, I just take the lid off of the old one and put it on the new one. I also take all of my daily pills over three doses each day....one with breakfast, one at lunch, and one at dinner. It will make no difference if you take them with or without meals. They never upset my stomach if I take them on an empty stomach.
Any questions?
Love to you all.
I'm still feeling great!
Here it is:
THE MAINTENCE PROGRAM:
(For hormones...I took these three supplements during the detox but at a much higher dosage)
SYMPLEX F (2 per day)
UTROPHIN PMG (2 per day)
OVEX P (2 per day)
I now also take CHASTE TREE (2 per day) to help with my hormone/progesterone levels
(I am also taking the following two supplements from my detox--but at a smaller dosage)
GASTRO-FIBER (3 per day)
CHOLACOL II (3 per day)
The SP COMPLETE shake (only one per day now)
(The new supplements that I am taking for maintance/overall support are as follows):
CRUCIFEROUS COMPLETE (This replaces the SP Cleanse from the detox--2 pills/3 x's/day = 6/day)
BETAFOOD (3 per day)
SPANISH BLACK RADISH (3 per day)
ADRENAL DESICCATED (3 per day...but you can only use this for three months and then must stop. That is because it is to "kick start" your adrenal health again--for energy--and if you use it more than three months, you risk your body "giving up" trying to do it on its own). I wrote the end date on the lid so that I'll remember.
DRENAMIN--This also supports adrenal health, but there is no required stop date for this (6 per day)
I also have a small bottle of lemon oil from a company called Young Living. According to my herbalist, lemon oil is known to excrete petroleum based toxins from the blood. I put two drops in a large glass of water and drink one or two a day.
There you go! That is what I am taking now. Much less than I was during the detox--which is nice...the pills last much longer. :-)
To help, since are are multiple bottles, I write the dosage on the top of each lid. Then, as I have to replace the bottle, I just take the lid off of the old one and put it on the new one. I also take all of my daily pills over three doses each day....one with breakfast, one at lunch, and one at dinner. It will make no difference if you take them with or without meals. They never upset my stomach if I take them on an empty stomach.
Any questions?
Love to you all.
And now we are at the current date....
Okay....all of the past posts are done, and we are now at the current date: January 13, 2011.
Here is where I am right now:
1. I had my silicone blood test re-done, but I haven't received the results yet. My hope is that they are lower now after the detox. I'll let you know as soon as I hear.
2. I still feel great! My detox was a HUGE success in my eyes. I have only had two "issues" that were minor...and my own fault. Last Thursday, I took a long weekend trip away, and I forgot to grab my supplements that I packed off the kitchen island. So...I went four days without any of my supplements (I'm done with the detox, but I am on a "maintenance program" of a much lower number of some of the supplements that I was taking during the detox plus a couple of new supplements that deal with adrenal support (for my energy). I just realized that I haven't posted that "post detox" supplemental program. I will do that in the next post. Back on what happened, I forgot my supplements for four days, and so--last Thursday--the day after I got home, I had a moment of that "panicky" feeling. It didn't go into a panic attack, or anything, but it was the closest I've been. In fact, up to that moment, I never even felt anxious as all since the detox. It was at that time that I realized that I didn't take the supplements for the past few days. I got right back on them, had one more slight anxious day on Tuesday (the day before my period), and now I'm right back to feeling great again. I definitely won't be forgetting those supplements again, that's for sure!
I was a bit nervous about it all at first, and then I called Dr. J. He just reminded me that it is okay, and that it didn't mean at all like everything was coming back. He told me that he tells all of the women who see him for hormonal health supplemental help that it takes a MINIMUM of three to six months to really regulate hormones to a completely normal state....and most of those ladies haven't had NEARLY the assault on their hormone levels that I did. All those two "blips" meant was that I'm still healing, and my body isn't strong enough on its own to be off of the supplements. When I take them, I'm fine. I'm completely "normal" with no problems at all. I don't hurt, I don't have anxiety attacks at all, I don't have the foggy brain, the insomnia is gone, I feel physically, mentally and emotionally strong. My systems were just really damaged by all of this, so I'm okay with knowing that I just need to stay on the maintenance program longer while my body heals from the inside out.
Remember though, the great thing is that I'm on ZERO medications for all of this. No anxiety meds, no anti-depressants, etc....all of the things that most women are depending on after what the Mirena did to them. So....if I need to stay on a all-natural, whole foods-based supplement program for longer than I expected, SO BE IT. It sure is better than popping Xanax like I used to have to do....and that didn't even work. I'm even thinking about doing the detox again (but not for three months....you have to give your body three months after a detox to give your liver time to rest). I just think it might be a good idea to make sure that the toxicity is completely gone. Better safe than sorry, right????? We still don't know exactly WHAT is making us so sick....hormones? Silicone? Could be any or all of it.
I will do the next post on the "maintenance program" of supplements that I am on now. It started once the turbo detox was over. On to that post now.....
Here is where I am right now:
1. I had my silicone blood test re-done, but I haven't received the results yet. My hope is that they are lower now after the detox. I'll let you know as soon as I hear.
2. I still feel great! My detox was a HUGE success in my eyes. I have only had two "issues" that were minor...and my own fault. Last Thursday, I took a long weekend trip away, and I forgot to grab my supplements that I packed off the kitchen island. So...I went four days without any of my supplements (I'm done with the detox, but I am on a "maintenance program" of a much lower number of some of the supplements that I was taking during the detox plus a couple of new supplements that deal with adrenal support (for my energy). I just realized that I haven't posted that "post detox" supplemental program. I will do that in the next post. Back on what happened, I forgot my supplements for four days, and so--last Thursday--the day after I got home, I had a moment of that "panicky" feeling. It didn't go into a panic attack, or anything, but it was the closest I've been. In fact, up to that moment, I never even felt anxious as all since the detox. It was at that time that I realized that I didn't take the supplements for the past few days. I got right back on them, had one more slight anxious day on Tuesday (the day before my period), and now I'm right back to feeling great again. I definitely won't be forgetting those supplements again, that's for sure!
I was a bit nervous about it all at first, and then I called Dr. J. He just reminded me that it is okay, and that it didn't mean at all like everything was coming back. He told me that he tells all of the women who see him for hormonal health supplemental help that it takes a MINIMUM of three to six months to really regulate hormones to a completely normal state....and most of those ladies haven't had NEARLY the assault on their hormone levels that I did. All those two "blips" meant was that I'm still healing, and my body isn't strong enough on its own to be off of the supplements. When I take them, I'm fine. I'm completely "normal" with no problems at all. I don't hurt, I don't have anxiety attacks at all, I don't have the foggy brain, the insomnia is gone, I feel physically, mentally and emotionally strong. My systems were just really damaged by all of this, so I'm okay with knowing that I just need to stay on the maintenance program longer while my body heals from the inside out.
Remember though, the great thing is that I'm on ZERO medications for all of this. No anxiety meds, no anti-depressants, etc....all of the things that most women are depending on after what the Mirena did to them. So....if I need to stay on a all-natural, whole foods-based supplement program for longer than I expected, SO BE IT. It sure is better than popping Xanax like I used to have to do....and that didn't even work. I'm even thinking about doing the detox again (but not for three months....you have to give your body three months after a detox to give your liver time to rest). I just think it might be a good idea to make sure that the toxicity is completely gone. Better safe than sorry, right????? We still don't know exactly WHAT is making us so sick....hormones? Silicone? Could be any or all of it.
I will do the next post on the "maintenance program" of supplements that I am on now. It started once the turbo detox was over. On to that post now.....
THE DETOX
Here's the post you have all been waiting for....the actual detox that I did. I pray that, if you choose to do this detox, it helps you like it helped me. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment on this blog if you choose to do it and what you experience was. Like I said, this worked for ME...but I am anxious to hear if it helps other women as well. I know that many will be following this blog as they suffer through this, and they would love to be able to see multiple experiences. Also remember, I am not trying to sound "right" or that I am the fix to your problems. If you follow this detox COMPLETELY and it doesn't work for you, please post that as well. The goal here is to help women. I can't begin to tell you the change that this detox made in my life. It gave me my life back. I sincerely hope that it does the same for you. Please post any questions that you may have. Here it is:
************
(This was posted on Dec. 24th, 2010)
Hi ladies--As promised, I typed up the three-week "turbo detox" that my doc put me on that gave me my life back. After doing this, I had ZERO anxiety attacks (I was having around four or five per week), and I came out of my brain fog, etc. I haven't re-taken my silicone test, but I'm sure the levels are down simply because of how I feel. I actually feel like the old me again! The only thing that didn't improve for me was the eyesight that I lost in my right eye. EVERYTHING else went away....and I was in BAAAAAAAAAAD shape.
I also put two drops of lemon oil (You can get it from Young Living) in a glass of water and drank two glasses a day. According to an herbalist I spoke with, it helps your body excrete petroleum-based toxins out of your blood....good for those of you who find that you have elevated silicone levels in your blood.
Okay! The above is what I did for three weeks. Also, just to detox as much as I could, I also did FAR-Infared saunas as much as possible (they make you sweat a TON), and Dr. J would occasionally “zap” my liver for ten minutes with a machine—that was about twice a week. Also, drink TONS of water. The more you poop, pee and sweat, the more toxins you get out.
The next post will be the supplement program that I started after three three-week turbo detox was finished. It is basically smaller doses of some of the supplements that I was already taking, plus a few more that would address my adrenal function (to help with my complete lack of energy) and my overall health. I am still currently on this program since my detox ended only a few weeks ago.
At this point, I am going to stay on my current “program” (that will be on the next post) for about three months. At that point, I will make the decision whether or not to do the main detox again. So far, though, I feel great! As I said earlier, I felt like a new person after the turbo detox was over.
I’ll start working on the next post and be back soon.*************
My prayers are with you all. May this work for you like it did me..... Good luck, ladies.
************
(This was posted on Dec. 24th, 2010)
Hi ladies--As promised, I typed up the three-week "turbo detox" that my doc put me on that gave me my life back. After doing this, I had ZERO anxiety attacks (I was having around four or five per week), and I came out of my brain fog, etc. I haven't re-taken my silicone test, but I'm sure the levels are down simply because of how I feel. I actually feel like the old me again! The only thing that didn't improve for me was the eyesight that I lost in my right eye. EVERYTHING else went away....and I was in BAAAAAAAAAAD shape.
I also remember committing to myself that I would be someone who wouldn't forget how frustrating it was to not be able to find help... I promised that I would come back and post findings if I found something that worked. Ladies, this worked for me. I have my life back...in every way.
That being said--I AM NOT A DOCTOR. And these supplements must be ordered by a physician, I believe. So, I hope that you can find someone who can/will help you out by ordering them. The website where the supplements can be ordered (again, by a physician) is www.standardprocess.com, and I believe that there is a place on that website that you can click on to find a doctor near you who uses them. If you try and cannot find help, let me know. I'll see what I can do to find you help.
I hope that it works for you the way that it did for me. Smile ladies... if it does, you are about to have your life back in less than a month--AND be medication free.
All my prayers and support are with you. Best wishes for your new post Mirena life.
***********
The DETOX:Okay…bear with me here. I’m going to do the best I can to explain all of the stages of the detox that helped me out of my nightmare. It’s quite a bit, so if you have any questions—or anything isn’t clear—PLEASE make a comment about it, and I’ll keep altering as necessary to make it as understandable as possible. Here we go…..
When my doctor finally did the silicone test for me, saw that I did, in fact, have the elevated levels, he basically washed his hands of me and told me that there was nothing that he could do. I was told that I needed to find a Naturopath that specialized in cleanses/detoxes, etc. Okay….fine. I found one who told me that it WAS possible to clean out my blood/body systems/etc. that were poisoned. He also told me that it was possible to do it naturally. In fact, any additional medications were only going to inhibit my body’s ability to clean itself out because this was a toxicity issue to begin with…and all medications are basically different levels of poison. He also told me that was going to have to be patient. I needed to fight against the urge to take “quick fix” meds like anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds, etc., and understand that those meds only “numb” the underlying problem…they don’t fix it. A naturopathic detox aims at cleansing the body and healing it from the inside out…and that takes time. At this point, I was willing to ANYTHING to get my life back, so it was a promise that I could easily make.
My Naturopath, who I will call Dr. J from this point on, explained how he uses supplements from a company called STANDARD PROCESS because they are whole foods based nutrition (getting vitamins from the store that say “Natural” don’t mean anything anymore…that only means that atleast 10% of the vitamin is made from something found on earth or in space…can you believe that?). So, apparently—in his explanation—the key is that it should be WHOLE FOODS BASED supplements. Standard Process uses that. The supplements can be ordered online at http://www.standardprocess.com,
but I believe that they must be ordered by a physician. Hopefully, you ladies will find a doctor who will be willing to help you out!
I guess before I go in to the whole detox, I should explain what Dr. J found as far as what all was “messed up” with me at my initial evaluation/appointment. The systems of my body that were “abnormal”/struggling/toxic were as follows:
--Liver
--Hormones (uterus and ovaries)
--Hypothalamus
--Adrenals
--Pancreas
--Pituitary
--Thyroid
--Small bowel
By far, the two worst issues were my liver and my hormones, so Dr. J. decided to mainly address those two first. In his words, “Much of the time, if you can find the ‘headpin’ problem, you would be amazed at how many other problems improve on their own.” He believed that the toxicity of my liver was causing a whole host of other problems. Of course the liver was the worst because this was a poisoning issue, and the liver is the “filter” that it all has to go through. In addition, my hormones were off the chart.
Dr. J explained that he was going to do a “Turbo Detox” on my since so many of my systems were messed up. This type of detox can only be three weeks long before you must let your liver rest again.
Okay…here we go.
The “TURBO DETOX”
Length: 3 weeks
(I felt like a whole new woman after this….HONESTLY! Get ready, though, it is a LOT of supplements! 52 per DAY! Trust me, though…it is worth it in the end!)
Again, these are all bottles of supplements from Standard Process:
1. SP Cleanse—7 pills, 3 times a day = 21 pills/day
2. SP Complete—This is a big bottle of powder that you mix into a shake. I did two scoops of powder per shake (with fruit and apple juice). You take THREE shakes per day
3. Gastro Fiber—3 pills/day
4. Cholacol II—10 pills/day. I did 3, 3 and then 4
The above supplements were for the main liver detox. The SP Cleanse is to detox everything out, the SP Complete puts all of the “good stuff” back in to your system, the Cholacol help the toxins bind to your poop and the Gastro Fiber is to help you poop it out. And, in case you were wondering, no your poop isn’t any more gross than usual! You may just find that you poop more…
Now—on to the supplements for my hormonal readjustment:
5. Symplex F—2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
6. Utrophin PMG –2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
7. Ovex P – 2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
That being said--I AM NOT A DOCTOR. And these supplements must be ordered by a physician, I believe. So, I hope that you can find someone who can/will help you out by ordering them. The website where the supplements can be ordered (again, by a physician) is www.standardprocess.com, and I believe that there is a place on that website that you can click on to find a doctor near you who uses them. If you try and cannot find help, let me know. I'll see what I can do to find you help.
I hope that it works for you the way that it did for me. Smile ladies... if it does, you are about to have your life back in less than a month--AND be medication free.
All my prayers and support are with you. Best wishes for your new post Mirena life.
***********
The DETOX:Okay…bear with me here. I’m going to do the best I can to explain all of the stages of the detox that helped me out of my nightmare. It’s quite a bit, so if you have any questions—or anything isn’t clear—PLEASE make a comment about it, and I’ll keep altering as necessary to make it as understandable as possible. Here we go…..
When my doctor finally did the silicone test for me, saw that I did, in fact, have the elevated levels, he basically washed his hands of me and told me that there was nothing that he could do. I was told that I needed to find a Naturopath that specialized in cleanses/detoxes, etc. Okay….fine. I found one who told me that it WAS possible to clean out my blood/body systems/etc. that were poisoned. He also told me that it was possible to do it naturally. In fact, any additional medications were only going to inhibit my body’s ability to clean itself out because this was a toxicity issue to begin with…and all medications are basically different levels of poison. He also told me that was going to have to be patient. I needed to fight against the urge to take “quick fix” meds like anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds, etc., and understand that those meds only “numb” the underlying problem…they don’t fix it. A naturopathic detox aims at cleansing the body and healing it from the inside out…and that takes time. At this point, I was willing to ANYTHING to get my life back, so it was a promise that I could easily make.
My Naturopath, who I will call Dr. J from this point on, explained how he uses supplements from a company called STANDARD PROCESS because they are whole foods based nutrition (getting vitamins from the store that say “Natural” don’t mean anything anymore…that only means that atleast 10% of the vitamin is made from something found on earth or in space…can you believe that?). So, apparently—in his explanation—the key is that it should be WHOLE FOODS BASED supplements. Standard Process uses that. The supplements can be ordered online at http://www.standardprocess.com,
but I believe that they must be ordered by a physician. Hopefully, you ladies will find a doctor who will be willing to help you out!
I guess before I go in to the whole detox, I should explain what Dr. J found as far as what all was “messed up” with me at my initial evaluation/appointment. The systems of my body that were “abnormal”/struggling/toxic were as follows:
--Liver
--Hormones (uterus and ovaries)
--Hypothalamus
--Adrenals
--Pancreas
--Pituitary
--Thyroid
--Small bowel
By far, the two worst issues were my liver and my hormones, so Dr. J. decided to mainly address those two first. In his words, “Much of the time, if you can find the ‘headpin’ problem, you would be amazed at how many other problems improve on their own.” He believed that the toxicity of my liver was causing a whole host of other problems. Of course the liver was the worst because this was a poisoning issue, and the liver is the “filter” that it all has to go through. In addition, my hormones were off the chart.
Dr. J explained that he was going to do a “Turbo Detox” on my since so many of my systems were messed up. This type of detox can only be three weeks long before you must let your liver rest again.
Okay…here we go.
The “TURBO DETOX”
Length: 3 weeks
(I felt like a whole new woman after this….HONESTLY! Get ready, though, it is a LOT of supplements! 52 per DAY! Trust me, though…it is worth it in the end!)
Again, these are all bottles of supplements from Standard Process:
1. SP Cleanse—7 pills, 3 times a day = 21 pills/day
2. SP Complete—This is a big bottle of powder that you mix into a shake. I did two scoops of powder per shake (with fruit and apple juice). You take THREE shakes per day
3. Gastro Fiber—3 pills/day
4. Cholacol II—10 pills/day. I did 3, 3 and then 4
The above supplements were for the main liver detox. The SP Cleanse is to detox everything out, the SP Complete puts all of the “good stuff” back in to your system, the Cholacol help the toxins bind to your poop and the Gastro Fiber is to help you poop it out. And, in case you were wondering, no your poop isn’t any more gross than usual! You may just find that you poop more…
Now—on to the supplements for my hormonal readjustment:
5. Symplex F—2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
6. Utrophin PMG –2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
7. Ovex P – 2 pills, 3 times per day = 6 pills
I also put two drops of lemon oil (You can get it from Young Living) in a glass of water and drank two glasses a day. According to an herbalist I spoke with, it helps your body excrete petroleum-based toxins out of your blood....good for those of you who find that you have elevated silicone levels in your blood.
Okay! The above is what I did for three weeks. Also, just to detox as much as I could, I also did FAR-Infared saunas as much as possible (they make you sweat a TON), and Dr. J would occasionally “zap” my liver for ten minutes with a machine—that was about twice a week. Also, drink TONS of water. The more you poop, pee and sweat, the more toxins you get out.
The next post will be the supplement program that I started after three three-week turbo detox was finished. It is basically smaller doses of some of the supplements that I was already taking, plus a few more that would address my adrenal function (to help with my complete lack of energy) and my overall health. I am still currently on this program since my detox ended only a few weeks ago.
At this point, I am going to stay on my current “program” (that will be on the next post) for about three months. At that point, I will make the decision whether or not to do the main detox again. So far, though, I feel great! As I said earlier, I felt like a new person after the turbo detox was over.
I’ll start working on the next post and be back soon.
My prayers are with you all. May this work for you like it did me..... Good luck, ladies.
Next post (December 17th, 2010)
Here was my post on Curezone right after my detox ended. The actual detox description is in the next post:
**********
Ladies!
I just had to get on here quickly, and I apologize so much, but I can only be on a moment before I have to leave. I haven't been on in a couple of weeks because I've been traveling so much, but I had to get on quickly just to tell you all that the detox that I did WORKED!
For those who aren't familiar with my story, please feel free to go back and read it. Any posts from "Proud Momma" are from me.
Long story short, I was about 4 months post removal, and I was dealing with tons of physical issues, but the worst was absolutely DEBILITATING anxiety. I was anxious every day, and I was having full on anxiety attacks about four times a week.
I was the one that posted a bit back that I demanded a silicone blood test, and sure enough--it came back positive. My doc gave up and sent me to a Naturopath.
Okay...please don't give up--check back here in a few days for a post from me. I did a three week detox from my naturopath, and ladies--IT WORKED. It has been a month since I started it, and I have not had a SINGLE anxiety attack since.
I PROMISE with everything that I have that I will be back on here to post EXACTLY what I did so that you might find some possible help. I just have to get through my daughter's birthday party this weekend, and then I am going to sit down and type out--in detail--exactly what my detox process was and exactly what I took...dosage amounts...everything. Please just give me a couple of days, and I will be back. I promise.
I just wanted to get on here long enough to get some hope out there to you that there is something that you can do. Don't give up...don't feel hopeless. I'll be back on when the weekend is over, and I hope to give you some information that will give you your lives back. I feel like a new woman. I can't believe it. Now it is my mission to help as many women as possible now that I know that it worked.
Check back. I'll be back soon with answers. I PROMISE. I pray that you find hope in this quick email.
I'm going to do everything I can to get you better. We are still all in this together.
My love to all of you.
***************
There you go. The detox is coming next....
**********
Ladies!
I just had to get on here quickly, and I apologize so much, but I can only be on a moment before I have to leave. I haven't been on in a couple of weeks because I've been traveling so much, but I had to get on quickly just to tell you all that the detox that I did WORKED!
For those who aren't familiar with my story, please feel free to go back and read it. Any posts from "Proud Momma" are from me.
Long story short, I was about 4 months post removal, and I was dealing with tons of physical issues, but the worst was absolutely DEBILITATING anxiety. I was anxious every day, and I was having full on anxiety attacks about four times a week.
I was the one that posted a bit back that I demanded a silicone blood test, and sure enough--it came back positive. My doc gave up and sent me to a Naturopath.
Okay...please don't give up--check back here in a few days for a post from me. I did a three week detox from my naturopath, and ladies--IT WORKED. It has been a month since I started it, and I have not had a SINGLE anxiety attack since.
I PROMISE with everything that I have that I will be back on here to post EXACTLY what I did so that you might find some possible help. I just have to get through my daughter's birthday party this weekend, and then I am going to sit down and type out--in detail--exactly what my detox process was and exactly what I took...dosage amounts...everything. Please just give me a couple of days, and I will be back. I promise.
I just wanted to get on here long enough to get some hope out there to you that there is something that you can do. Don't give up...don't feel hopeless. I'll be back on when the weekend is over, and I hope to give you some information that will give you your lives back. I feel like a new woman. I can't believe it. Now it is my mission to help as many women as possible now that I know that it worked.
Check back. I'll be back soon with answers. I PROMISE. I pray that you find hope in this quick email.
I'm going to do everything I can to get you better. We are still all in this together.
My love to all of you.
***************
There you go. The detox is coming next....
3rd post (Nov. 5, 2010)--SILICONE POISONING
Here is my 3rd post on Curezone.com. This was when it was confirmed that I had elevated silicone levels in my blood. Here you go:
*******************
Well...just wanted to give you the update that I promised.
Remember that I demanded that my doctor do a blood test to check for silicone poisoning? Remember that he looked at me like I had three head for doing it?
Yeah...well--I got the results back. Shocker....elevated silicone levels. We are being poisoned ladies.....
And that test was run three months after my Mirena was REMOVED. I hate to even know what my levels were months ago. It just makes me sick.
I actually just had my first appointment with a naturpath today to begin a three-week detox/cleanse program for my blood and organs. Here's to hoping that a month from now I will have my life back. He's throwing everything he's got at me....infer-red saunas, tons of wholefood pills a day, and who knows what else. I don't even care. I'll stand on my head for four days straight if it will give me my life back.
I'll keep you updated--my first appointment to begin the detox is on Monday. Fingers crossed, ladies.
Get your silicone checked, girls. Don't take no for an answer.
Prayers for us all. Big hugs.
*****************
On to the next post.....
*******************
Well...just wanted to give you the update that I promised.
Remember that I demanded that my doctor do a blood test to check for silicone poisoning? Remember that he looked at me like I had three head for doing it?
Yeah...well--I got the results back. Shocker....elevated silicone levels. We are being poisoned ladies.....
And that test was run three months after my Mirena was REMOVED. I hate to even know what my levels were months ago. It just makes me sick.
I actually just had my first appointment with a naturpath today to begin a three-week detox/cleanse program for my blood and organs. Here's to hoping that a month from now I will have my life back. He's throwing everything he's got at me....infer-red saunas, tons of wholefood pills a day, and who knows what else. I don't even care. I'll stand on my head for four days straight if it will give me my life back.
I'll keep you updated--my first appointment to begin the detox is on Monday. Fingers crossed, ladies.
Get your silicone checked, girls. Don't take no for an answer.
Prayers for us all. Big hugs.
*****************
On to the next post.....
My 2nd post (Oct. 21, 2010)....
Here is another post from when I started struggling. On curezone.com, I am under the ID of "ProudMomma". You can also see all of my posts there. As you can see, at the time of this post, it is about three months after I had the Mirena removed. I'm putting all of my past posts on here so that you can all see exactly where I was....then I will catch us up to the present. This was posted on October 21, 2010. Here you go:
**********
Hey ladies--
I am going through exactly what you all were last year RIGHT NOW. I'm a little over three months post removal, and I had a bad crash about 2 months after, but then--over the past couple of weeks--I was feeling great. I really thought that I was finally on the other side of all of this torture. Then yesterday....WHAMMO. It was like I was on day one again. Tons of anxiety, heartrate going everywhere, feeling like adreneline was coursing through every vein in my body. I'm so upset right now because I was really feeling like I was getting better.
Can any of you ladies who posted here PLEASE respond or message me directly to let me know how you are doing now? Did you have to continue meds for the anxiety? Did you ever get better on your own? Any information would greatly be appreciated. I just need to know what to expect.
Thank you so much, ladies....I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
*******
There you go. I'll continue to post more past posts until I catch you up.
**********
Hey ladies--
I am going through exactly what you all were last year RIGHT NOW. I'm a little over three months post removal, and I had a bad crash about 2 months after, but then--over the past couple of weeks--I was feeling great. I really thought that I was finally on the other side of all of this torture. Then yesterday....WHAMMO. It was like I was on day one again. Tons of anxiety, heartrate going everywhere, feeling like adreneline was coursing through every vein in my body. I'm so upset right now because I was really feeling like I was getting better.
Can any of you ladies who posted here PLEASE respond or message me directly to let me know how you are doing now? Did you have to continue meds for the anxiety? Did you ever get better on your own? Any information would greatly be appreciated. I just need to know what to expect.
Thank you so much, ladies....I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
*******
There you go. I'll continue to post more past posts until I catch you up.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My Mirena story....
Here is my Mirena story—What I finally posted on forums when I was struggling to find answers. I posted this on October 15, 2010....
*********************************************************************************
Hey ladies,
I'm finally writing all of this down because I know how desperately I've been looking for any sort of answer regarding what in the WORLD is happening to my body due to the Mirena. I apologize in advance for the long post, but I figure it may give some woman out there some information that she is searching for. If not, at least it is just one more post to show the world that we are not crazy here. We are very sick...and we are desperately trying to get better.
I was actually one of those women who had the Mirena put in after the birth of my first child and had no problems. I told everyone I knew how wonderful and convenient this form of birth control was. I used it, it worked, we decided to have another baby, I took it out, got pregnant the next cycle....everything seemed flawless. After the birth of my son, I had it inserted again at my 6 week post partum appointment. Within two months of insertion, my body started falling apart. Unfortunately, since I didn't have issues the first time, I didn't have it removed because I never made the connection to the Mirena until it was in for 17 months. That was when I started seeing thousands of posts of women who were suffering just like me...and reading their symptoms made me feel like I was reading my own journal. I literally cried when it hit me that the Mirena was the cause. Yes, I cried because I was angry--but I also cried because I finally felt like I had a real answer...a reason WHY I was falling apart. I finally knew that I wasn't just going crazy.
Here are my symptoms:
ANXIETY ATTACKS (I NEVER dealt with anxiety before, and suddenly I was dealing with them constantly--horrible ones that would literally take me to the ground)
LOWER BACK/HIP PAIN (I was going to the chiropractor twice a week and it didn't help at all)
BLURRY VISION (I have had it confirmed by my Optometrist that I have lost over 60% of my vision in my right eye in the past 12 months)
OVERALL "FOGGINESS" OF THE BRAIN--All the time. Feels like I'm half out of it and have to concentrate so hard on everything.
ABDOMINAL PAIN (I went in to my OB, and they found pockets of blood in my abdomen--they have since reabsorbed)
WEIRD "PATCHY" GOOSEBUMPS--This is a weird effect that I deal with multiple times per day. I get these weird patches of goose bumps...like in patterns on one arm, or only my right leg will be covered and not my left, etc. Only lasts for a few seconds, but happens constantly.
HEARTBEAT ISSUES--I've had to go have testing run because my heart rate starts jumping all over the place
FEELING LIKE I'M NOT GETTING IN ENOUGH OXYGEN WHEN I BREATHE--Sounds weird, but that is the only way that I can explain. I sometimes "huff" a lot to pull in more air.
WEAK HANDS--Out of nowhere, everything from my elbows down to my fingertips get so weak that I have to concentrate with everything I have to simply hold a glass or type a word correctly.
AWFUL MOOD SWINGS--I went from the most relaxed person who enjoyed being out at the park with my kids to a woman who was too overwhelmed to do ANYTHING. Doing laundry was too overwhelming. Taking my kids outside was too overwhelming. Taking a SHOWER--for goodness sakes--was sometimes too overwhelming. So, I became this "shell" of a woman who felt so sick and counted down the hours until I could just go to bed. I would yell at my daughter for stupid things. I knew it was me going overboard with my reaction, and yet I could do NOTHING to stop it.
EXTREME AND CONSTANT FATIGUE--I'm talking so tired all the time that daily life seemed almost impossible.
INSOMNIA--That's a strange one because, like I said, I had such awful fatigue that you would think that I would fall asleep at a moment's notice. Nope. Can't even tell you the last time I slept through the night without problems.
I went months not knowing what was wrong. I started off finding other "reasons":
"I have two kids three and under, and I'm just tired."
"My baby was born with a medical condition that we didn't know much about; he's in a lot of therapy...I'm just really stressed out."
"I'm getting my Master's degree now on top of everything. It's just a lot to handle."
Does this sound familiar, ladies?
BUT....as time went on, my side effects got worse and worse...and it seemed like one body system at a time was just shutting down....and I was POWERLESS to stop it. My body was shutting down...my mind was shutting down....my emotions were shutting down..... I felt it happening, and I was terrified because I had no idea why. Like most of you, I kept quiet about it for the first several months because I was EMBARRASSED. Who wants to admit out loud to your loved one--every day--that you are too overwhelmed to load the dishwasher, or you yelled at your three year old because she dropped her sippy cup on the floor, or you put your kids in front of the television for an hour so that you could go to the other room and cry for no apparent reason?
Or...even worse...who wants to have to say out loud that you are afraid that you are losing your mind? Yep....that was me. I sincerely thought that I was slowly going crazy, and I couldn't do anything about it. But, in true "woman of the household" fashion, I kept it in because to verbalize it made it true...and made me sound weak. THAT was unacceptable--and far too scary to do.
I was in a horrible place. I'm sure I sounded like a hypochondriac, I KNOW I had to seem like the world's laziest woman when my husband would come home and I had done hardly ANYTHING regarding the home. I KNEW how it looked.... I KNEW that I wanted to be better and do all of these things....but I also knew that I simply COULDN'T--and worse, I had no idea why.
Here is where I'm at now--I am almost three months post removal, and I've been to the doctor most recently to address the panic attacks and the weakness in my hands. He, of course, has referred me to a neurologist to rule out MS, ALS, etc.... After reading all of the other posts, I'm sure all tests will come back as normal (just as all my blood work has), but I haven't been to the neurologist yet. I'll let you know. He also gave me a bottle of 10 Xanax pills so that I can take one if I start having an attack. He thinks this could all be anxiety. I know differently. Not only have I never dealt with anxiety before this (and now it is almost debilitating at times), but my last attack hit me WHEN I WAS ASLEEP. That's right, I woke out of a dead sleep and couldn't breathe. Something is PHYSICALLY doing it to my body.
Just yesterday, I was at the doctor to demand that he check the silicone levels in my blood. I have seen far too many posts from women who are suffering from silicone poisoning because of the Mirena. When I requested the test, my doctor looked at me like I had three heads. "I've been a doctor for many years, and I've NEVER run a silicon test. This test is pointless." My response, "Well, now you have--and it isn't pointless to me."
He continued to talk to me about how it probably won't be covered by my insurance because it isn't part of his "treatment". Okay, fine. I'll figure it out. Run the test.
Then, he proceeded to say, "You know, even if you are right and it is silicone poisoning, there is nothing that you can do about it, so it seems unnecessary to do a test for something you can't change anyway. My answer, "Maybe I can't take any medicine for it...but I'll KNOW. I'll FINALLY have an answer to why I'm so sick. That is worth the WORLD to me at this point. I've been scrambling for answers for over a year, and if this blood test finally gives me the WHY that I've been searching for, it is worth it to me." (Plus, if there ever is a lawsuit...I want that level noted in my file).
By what I've learned so far, it looks like most of the women who share my same symptoms have any or all of the following things happen to their body:
1. Their body is thrown into Estrogen Dominance, complete loss or progesterone or some extreme hormonal imbalance. This device provided all of our progestin for us, so our estrogen kicked up to meet it. Then, the IUD was suddenly taken out, the estrogen is still pumping like mad, but our bodies haven't figured out how to start it's own progesterone again yet.
2. Silicone poisoning--Apparently, part of the IUD is a silicone compound. Yes, we were told that it couldn't enter our bloodstream. I don't buy it. I know a girl that had hers tested (She has even posted here I believe) whose silicone levels were three times over the abnormal limit. THREE TIMES.
3. If there was a malfunction of the device...especially a malfunction enough to have the silicone "holding cell" of the Mirena break apart and enter our bloodstreams, that--according to an Internal Medicine Specialist--means that the hormones that were in that cell all came out at once. That's right, ladies--that is FIVE YEARS worth of hormones that spilled into our bodies at one time. Knowing that, how could we NOT be on the edge of falling apart? Did you know that, when the Mirena is perfectly operational, that it put in our bodies the equivalent of TWO progestin pills A DAY????? (If I had known that, I never would have had it inserted in the first place) Yep, and that is when it was working CORRECTLY. Imagine now, FIVE YEARS of it spilling into our systems at once when it doesn't.
So, there is a possibility that, if the silicone tests come back positive, that we not only have five years worth of hormones in our system that our bodies are frantically trying to figure out how to deal with, but we also have our blood at a toxic level. Think about it. If something is wrong with your blood, OF COURSE your ENTIRE body will eventually be affected--your blood is pumping through all of it....your brain, your heart, your spine....
I am not a doctor. I don't claim to be. But, I've sure seen my share of them lately, and I've spent hours upon hours gaining information from other women who have gone or are going through the same suffering that we are now. They all seem to have the above issues in common, and that is why I think it is important to put them all together and post this. I'm trying to post something that was what I was looking for during one of my many desperate and fear-filled searches for possible answers. I'm not trying to give a diagnosis to anyone. I'm simply giving information for each woman to weigh against her own symptoms and decide what to do to start fighting for her life back. Think about what tests to run and go make it happen.
It angers me to think that the only reason I even changed from the pill to the Mirena was because I was a nursing mother, and my OB told me how much "safer" the Mirena was than the pill because it is localized to the uterus, and therefore, nothing entered the bloodstream or milk supply to the baby. What new mother wouldn't make that decision when told that it is the safer choice for her newborn? Most of the time now, though, I try to move past as much anger as I can that dwells on the past--because I can't go back and change what has happened to me. I am now trying to focus that energy on getting better. I have to admit, I have my strong days and my weak days....but I'm fighting.
Now that I am three months post removal, I'll try to explain where I'm at. The blurry vision and foggy brain are constant and consistent--even now. The anxiety attacks, back pain, and weak hands come and go and don't seem to follow any sort of pattern. However, I do notice a definite improvement on the amount of time I deal with a sore back. It used to be all the time. Now, I have good days and bad days. I definitely notice a VAST improvement in my mood. I'm so thankful to say that I am having some good days again--days where I find myself singing while I'm wiping the kitchen counter...days where I want to have a tea party with my kids. In that way, I feel like I am starting to get ME back...slowly, but she is in there, and I'm going to keep trying to get her out. One day is good...the next is bad...I never know. I may never be 100% again as far as my physical health--I simply don't know the answer to that yet. I do know this, though: I'm NOT going to stop fighting to get my life back.
Here's what I'm taking now: (To current blog readers--This is NOT the detox...this is what I was trying at that time....)
--I only take a Xanax if I need it. Anxiety is awful.
--I take a B Complex Vitamin every morning
--Evening Primrose Oil supplement daily
--One Biotin supplement daily (my hair never fell out like many of yours did, but it did get coarse and brittle...I thought it was our water softener for the longest time! :-)
--I also take a supplement (it's a powder that you mix as a tea) called "Natural Calm". It is a Calcium/Magnesium compound that I really believe is a large reason why my back pain is feeling so much better. It could also be helping with the anxiety according to the claims.
I'm also, depending on what the silicone test reveals, am planning on doing some sort of detox for my system. I have also found an herbalist (actually, my mother did) who has some herbal oil supplements of some sort that are supposedly supposed to help connect with any sort of petroleum-based toxin in the blood and help you excrete it. Worth a shot, right? If I'm still struggling, I'm evening considering trying acupuncture--seems like a lot of women out there got some relief from it. I'm just trying other things first since acupuncture is not covered my insurance and can tend to get expensive. However, I'm willing to try anything at this point. I even joked to my husband that I would wrap my head in a cow placenta for two weeks if it would give me my life back. ;-)
I also take an all natural herbal energy supplement (four per day) to help me out with my fatigue. It helps me out a lot.
I think that's it. I will keep you all updated on what I find out, and know that I am praying for ALL of you. I know, all too well, the hell that you are going through. I'm right there with you--but I'm going to beat this thing...and so are you.
Blessings to you all.
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Well, there you go, everyone. That's my story. I'll be back with more of my past posts soon....
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